Growth in the Waiting

 

Welcome to our new series – Waiting in the Lord!  Waiting can be some of the most frustrating moments in our lives.  Whether it be simple as waiting in a grocery line or waiting for health test results, the waiting can find us agitated, impatient, and ultimately, frustrated.  As Christians, when we pray, we expect answers from God.  He tells us to go to Him in prayer and He will deliver.  Mark 11:24 states, “Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

God does answer our prayers.  For me, the yes and even the no answers I seem to understand and accept.  It’s the ‘wait’ response that gets me every time.  During the waiting, I find myself working with my timeline and not God’s timeline.  Often, I will work on getting the answer to my prayer myself, in essence, taking back from God what I put into His hands.  That always ends up in a situation that I regret.

In the waiting, much can happen.  We can actually grow as Christians during this time.  When I was going through marital strife with my first marriage, I constantly prayed to God for answers.  He made me wait, a VERY long time, for those answers.  During that wait, though, my faith grew.  My reliance on God not just for answers to my marriage but other areas of my life began to grow.  I delved deeper into my Bible.  I was looking for answers there, God was having my Bible knowledge grow.

While waiting, we don’t typically see how we are growing.  It is after waiting that we can see where we were and how far we have come.  In a world where immediate gratification is becoming widely accepted, it is easy to take back what we are giving God in prayer so we can be more comfortable with our situation.  We can view waiting as suffering.  This is when I turn to one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  Romans 5:3-5 shares, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Our Lord is good, all the time!  Yes, He is good even in the waiting.  We need to slow down and realize that God’s timeline and outcomes will always be better than our own.  We need to move from immediacy to slowness.  We need to view our time of waiting as a time to grow – in faith and in knowledge.  How can you grow during the wait?  Get into the Bible and see what it has to say about your situation.  Seek out a Christian friend to have coffee with.  Select a church group to get involved in.  It’s your time to grow and see how far you have come when the wait if over!  Have Simple Faith!

Video that complements this post:  Growth in the Waiting

Dearest Lord, help me to grow when I am in a waiting period for my prayer.  May I leave with you what I give you until you answer my prayer and guide me to areas where I can grow.  Amen!

Filthy Language Vice

 

We have been exploring the vices listed in Colossians and are on the last one.  It is probably the one that is heard most often and most widely accepted in our society today, filthy language.  It is also the one that absolutely pierces my heart – because it is so widely accepted.  Utilizing profanity, abusive and degrading language adds no value to what comes out of one’s mouth.  In fact, I am led to believe that it does the opposite and devalues what is being said.  When one speaks filthy language, I find myself setting up barriers to listening.

So why is it so accepted in our modern society?  Reflection on the following may help to explain.

• It has become more accepted, as hearing it on television, movies and social media seems to be the norm.
• It can be used to grab attention – it certainly turns my head when I hear it.
• Respectful speech seems to wain as time goes on.
• People are not as filtered as they used to be.

When I have asked people why they speak that way, I am often told, “That’s just the way I talk – get used to it.”  When I hear little children speaking that type of language because they hear it so often, it makes me sad for our next generation.  What do we do?  How do you cleanse this vice?  It starts with each of us. 

• If this is a vice we want to remove from our behavior, it needs to start with clearing it from our lips.  Hold yourself accountable and, if you need assistance, ask those around you to hold you accountable by ensuring they tell you when you use that language.
• Be bold to ask the person you are speaking with not to use that language.  I have done this and have received mixed results.  Over time, people will understand that using this language in conversation with you makes you uncomfortable.
• If at work, share they would receive better understanding if they did not use that type of language.  It creates an uncomfortable work relationship.

I encourage all of us to review what is said by our lips each day.  If the words we are using do not build people up and honor God, then it is time to remove it from our speech – and the speech of those around us – if possible.  "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."  Colossians 4:6. May we look at these vices within us and work to remove them and replace them with the Fruits of the Spirit.

Video that complements this post:  Filthy Language Vice

Heavenly Father, please give me the strength to remove filthy language from my mouth.  May it be replaced with words that are filled with love, compassion, encouragement, and joy.  In your name, that I may revere, I pray, Amen!

Slander Vice

 

Slander – defined in my words, is to tear someone down through speech.  It takes our expression of anger, rage and malice towards another person and is conveyed through words.  Slander is typically done behind a person’s back, although I am certain there are instances where slander has been shared in front of the person one dislikes.  Slander is so terribly damaging in any form.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”   I am 100% certain that there is not a person reading this post that has never been hurt by words.  Words do hurt, whether you are a child or an adult.  I have shared unkind words and have felt horrible about it – apologizing and asking for forgiveness.  Slander is different.  There is strong intent to hurt the person with words.  It may be directly towards the person, or even worse, behind their back.  Gossiping, speaking falsely about another, and damaging their integrity are all examples of slander.

Slandering is hard not to take personally.  It is specifically meant to hurt.  My friends, if we are on the receiving end of slander, it hurts.  Not acknowledging the hurt only fuels the hurt further.  What can we do?

·         Take time to sit in reflection when slander is sent your way.  The words may not contain any truth, but it is worth examining all the same. 

o    “Search me, God, and know my heart…” Psalm 139:23-24

·         Go to God in prayer.  Ask for His strength and guidance in responding.

o    “For people have opened their wicked and deceitful mouths against me .  . but I am a man of prayer.“ Psalm 109:1-4

·         Remember, do not respond with evil words or deeds.

o    “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…Do not take revenge…’It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”  Romans 12:17-19

Now, the true reflective moment when WE are the ones to slander others.  As certain as I was that we were on the receiving end of slander, I am also certain that we have slandered others.  Friends, our job is to share good thoughts with everyone – yes, even those who we may be frustrated with.  Ours is not to judge.  Ours is not to speak ill.  Ours is to build up.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Ephesians 4:29

As we focus on slander, may we take time to go to God in prayer when we are so angry that all we want to share are unkind words.  Ask God for words that will build up, not tear down, the person.  Ask for God’s help in holding back our judgment and letting God do that for us!  Have Simple Faith that He will provide.

Video that complements this post:  Slander Vice

Dearest Lord, be with me during slanderous moments.  If I am on the receiving end, please stop me from responding with words that will hurt and take the situation to you.  If I am the one who wants to slander another, stop me!  Help me to find words that will build the person up, not tear them down.  Amen!

Malice Vice

 

Malice – a desire to harm, hurt or get even with someone.  Although I may not have ever desired to actually harm someone, getting even with someone?  Well, that is a different story.  We have discussed anger, the feeling that burns inside of you when you have been wronged.  Rage is the outburst that happens, our mouth takes over and says things out of anger.  Malice moves towards intent.  You want ill on the person.  You may want some sort of revenge or may even silently rejoice when the person suffers.  Have you ever felt that way?

I am not happy to admit it, but in my lifetime, I have experienced malice.  Thinking back upon those times, I am deeply ashamed of that feeling.  Often, we believe it is ‘justified’ to feel malice.  The person hurt us so much that our hearts and souls were broken.  They deserve what they get, and I hope it is something bad!  Although I may not have outwardly shared those words (maybe I have), I have certainly thought those words.  Have you?  Have malice thoughts crossed your mind?

Friends, isn’t it wonderful that we have a loving and forgiving Lord?  He has given us the perfect example of how we should respond when someone hurts us so deeply.  Think about all those close to Jesus who hurt Him and how He responded with humility and love.  One of the greatest examples of this would be Judas.  Judas betrayed Jesus and brought the soldiers to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus knew this long before the Last Supper and when He washed the disciples’ feet.  Yet, He did not single Judas out.  He did not show malice to Judas.  He showed humility by washing Judas’ feet and continued to love Judas to the end.   

The next time the urge to seek revenge on another comes to our hearts, may we remember our Jesus.  Replacing thoughts of malice with humility and love can be difficult.  It is hard to forgive someone to the point of kindness, yet that is what our Lord showed us.  If Jesus can show humility and love to the disciple who gave Him up for death, I can certainly try to show kindness to someone who hurts me.  When we do that, I am certain the Holy Spirit will fill our souls with peace.  The peace of wishing good versus harm can permeate your heart and become a blessing.  This is not easy, but it is possible – with the grace of God and simple faith!

Video that complements this post:  Malice Vice

Heavenly Lord, please replace malice with kindness in my soul.  May the situation that hurt me so much be turned around.  Help me to see goodness in the other person and be a model that walks in your light.  Bring me peace through the kindness shown.  Amen!

Rage Vice

 

This morning when I was watching the news, a story of road rage came on.  Two people stopped right in the middle of a highway, got out of their cars, and proceeded to barad each other and then damaged each other’s cars.  Rage takes anger to an entirely different level.  When I think of rage, either mine or others, I see red faces, flanging arms, burrowed brows, standing tall, and lips filled with angry words.  Rage is the outward expression of anger that encompasses yelling words and showing explosive behavior. 

As Paul asks us to rid ourselves of the vices listed above, rage is outwardly powerful.  I have experienced rage towards me; it was one of the most frightening experiences of my life!  I was scared – scared mentally and scared for my physical being.  This incident happened decades ago, but it has stayed with me all this time.  Rage has a way of hanging on.  Experiences of rage are not easily forgotten.  The same holds true when we show rage in a situation.  Although it may not be often, I am certain that I have had moments of impulsive outbursts that have embedded their ways into people’s memories as well.  This is behavior I am not proud of and have asked for forgiveness from those I offended and from God.  Rage is an emotion that can be contained and responded to differently.

Self-control, a fruit of the spirit, is a way for us to contain rage.  Our ability to NOT lash out but to control our responses to another in a combative situation is what Paul is asking of us.  This means that we have to change the response from demeaning words and explosive actions to thoughtful words and respectful actions.  How can we do this when we are so angry we want to “spit nails”?  In walks our Holy Spirit!

Friends, when anger fills us up and rage is upon us, we need to step back.  Often, this can take the form of actually stepping away from the situation.  Gaining perspective, breathing while counting to ten (or maybe fifty) can lead to a vastly different response than shooting words towards the one you are angry with - words you cannot take back.    While stepping away, it is time to have a conversation.  Not a conversation with the person you are angry with, but a conversation with God.  This is your opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit to step in and relinquish your anger for self-control.  This is the time to let the Holy Spirit know you need help and to remove the rage you are feeling.  Asking for help in this manner is why God is within us – helping us and guiding us to better decisions. 

When anger is getting the better of us and rage is gaining control, remember to call upon our Lord.  He knows our flaws.  He knows our sinful nature.  He is ready and waiting for us to call upon Him for help in all situations – even those of anger.  Have Simple Faith that He is available to us at all hours to help us and rid us of the vice of rage!

Video that complements this post: Rage Vice

Dearest Lord, please remove rage from my heart.  Take away the moments where I want to explode in anger and replace them with self-control and respectful words.  Fill my heart, Lord, with your grace and mercy.  Amen!

Anger Vice

 

Coming off our series of the Fruits of the Spirit and how we can expand the positive behaviors in our lives, I thought it would be appropriate for us to also explore the vices we should remove from our lives.  For this we will be exploring Colossian 3:8. The first vice to explore will be anger.

Have you experienced anger, deep-rooted anger?  The kind that quickly builds to a level of resentment to a person or a situation.  Unfortunately, I have.  It has reared its ugly head on numerous occasions.  It could be when people have hurt me or disappointed me and my heart cannot believe this person responded (or did not respond) in the manner I anticipated.  Anger is mostly seen as an ‘internal’ attitude that hangs on. 

I have felt this in my life, and it changed the way I was responding to all people around me and my ability to find happiness and joy.  I would not let it go, and the anger built up inside in such a manner I had difficulty sleeping.  I often said to myself, “Let it go!”  My mind knew that it was the right thing to do, but my heart felt different.  The resentment was building, and I could feel it! 

My friends, the only way I moved on from this anger was to go to Jesus.  As Paul shared with the Colossians, we need to rid ourselves of these vices – starting with anger.  I was not able to do this on my own.  In walks prayer!  I prayed – and prayed and prayed.  Over time, I felt the burden of the anger I was carrying lifting.  I felt Jesus walking into my heart and healing it.  The Holy Spirit replaced my anger with peace.  Yes, when I think of the situation, I can feel my blood begin to boil a bit – yet I also can replace the anger with the sense of peace knowing that it is out of my control and in Jesus’ hands.

Our goal should be not getting that angry in the first place.  Easier said than done!  Coming to these occasions with a praying heart of calmness and control versus anger and resentment brings us closer to the person Jesus wants us to be.  How do we do that?  I find that when a situation arises where I begin to feel anger, I either step away or slow down and say a prayer.  Something like, “Jesus, I need you right now.  Help me to replace the anger I am feeling with a sense of calm.  Show me a way to respond as you would Jesus, with patience and control.” 

The Book of Proverbs offers many opportunities for us to put words on our hearts for anger situations.  One of my favorites is: 

"Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly."  Proverbs 14:29

Friends, let us pursue a sense of patience in troubling scenarios.  May our responses mirror those of Jesus.  Have Simple Faith He will always be there for us!

Video that complements this post:  Anger Vice

Jesus, we need you.  Stand with us as we enter situations where anger may take over.  May we respond with a sense of patience and calm.  In your name we pray, Amen!

Fruit of Self-Control

 

Our Fruits of the Spirit journey is coming to an end with self-control.  This ‘fruit’ has always been close to my heart.  Perhaps it is due to the fact that I can’t get away from this being about me, with self in the actual word!  Self-control comes into many facets and phases in one’s life.  I typically associate myself with a healthy eating program and self-control.  Often, I set my sights on ensuring I eat properly, especially as I age.  I find that my desire to have ice cream every day and sticking to my healthy eating program is definitely about self-control.  There are days when I am more successful than others.

Yet, self-control falls into many other aspects of my life, and I’m assuming yours as well. 

·         Words – do I have control over the words that come out of my mouth?  Are they words that are uplifting for those around me and not judgmental?  “The tongue has the power of life and death.”  Proverbs 18:21

·         Actions – are my actions aligned with what Jesus has planned for me?  Am I acting and reacting in away that is pleasing to Jesus?  “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.”  Colossians 3:17

·         Thoughts – what are you thinking?  Is what you are thinking about true to God?  “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right…think about such things.”  Philippians 4:8

·         Temptation – what are you tempted by?  There is much in this world that tempts us every day.  Are we quick to anger?  Does the gossip pool include you?  Are there other ways that you are tempted that do not align with God’s plan for your life?  “…God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure.”  1 Corinthians 10:13

Friends, the beauty of the Fruits of the Spirit is that the Holy Spirit is with us for each and every one listed.  He is there to help sustain us and our efforts to live our best lives in Jesus.  Our job is to remember this and to rely on Him and the power that He has inside of us to live with self-control. 

We have discussed much on all the Fruits of the Spirit.  In doing so, one may think, “Great, how do I live a life filled with all these good things?”  It comes from a place of humility.  It comes from fully understanding that we are sinners and we cannot do this on our own.  Praying for the Holy Spirit to show up in our lives, to guide us on the paths that Jesus has for us, and doing so with all of the Fruits of the Spirit by our side will greatly assist our goal of living the life for Jesus.  What we need to have is Simple Faith!!

Video that complements this post:  Fruit of Self-Control

I’d like to thank Mary for suggesting this series.  I hope all have found it beneficial.  It certainly opened my eyes!

Holy Spirit, please give me the fruit of self-control throughout my day.  May I be reminded you are in me, guiding me, and helping to hold me accountable.  Amen!