What Isn't Love?

Many times I have had people ask me, "What does that mean?"  It might be in relation to a concept or words I shared.  When I reflect on those moments, many times it is easier for me to explain what that particular concept isn't.  Sometimes, explaining the opposite is less complicated and more straightforward than defining what something is.  I feel that way with our verses for today.

The first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13 explains why love is so important for our lives.  Now, the tough part comes - what exactly is love.  I have to share, when I have delved into this chapter before I have always focused on what love is - patient and kind!  Although I struggle with patience, and think I'm kind most of the time, it wasn't until I began really reading the other words that the REAL struggle began.

As I read through the words listed, I began to cringe.  Oh my Heavenly Father, the very many times I have acted with what I THOUGHT was love in my heart, but my thoughts and actions were far from that.

• Envy - The time that I envied another person's success.  Looking back, they worked hard for that success, but my heart and thoughts were far from that.
• Boast - Didn't I have a right to share with others all the goodness I had.  The answer?  NO, I don't have that right - for all the goodness I have is not of MY doing, but that of God's doing.
• Pride - Pride, my arch enemy.  Although I have worked on the boasting, there is still pride in my heart.  "Look at what I did!"  Yes, those words have even come out of my mouth - especially with my husband (for just the smallest of efforts).  That's not love.
• Dis-honoring others - My mouth has spilled its unfair share of gossip over the years.  There is nothing loving in that.
• Self-seeking - If I don't look out for me, who will?  The answer, GOD WILL!
• Easily angered - Can we just leave this one with those two words?  Those times are too numerous.
• Record of wrongs - Holding all the times when someone has "wronged" me produces so many negative experiences, not for the one who has wronged me - but for me.  I am the one who suffers with the negative feeling.  Forgiveness is love, and Jesus certainly shows us how to forgive.
• Delight in evil - Some people call it karma.  Others call it fate.  Still others say, "they deserve it".  Truth is, when bad things happen and we rejoice in that - it's not love.

To look at what love is can give us all, self included, a sense that "I've got this covered."  Yet, when we explore the words Paul gives us as to what love does NOT encompass, the blanket is thrown off and the real behavior is exposed.  Looking at all those words above, is there hope for me?

God knows there is hope for me!  The wonderful news is that He provides us so many wonderful examples of how love can continue to grow - in my words, in my actions, in my thoughts, and in my heart.  God loves me enough to give me a second, third, fourth . . . .chance.  We need to show that kind of love in everything that we do.  It's not about this earthly viewpoint of love.  It's about shining God's love.  Now that we know what isn't love, let's get ready for next week, and see what love is!

Dearest Jesus, you gave Paul such wonderful words to fully explain to us what love isn't.  When we look at those words and hold up a mirror, we know that there have been times when we haven't truly lived out your love.  We hid behind words, actions and thoughts that were less than true love.  Help us, Jesus, to expose those times when we live out love falsely, and help to turn us around to be true vessels of your love to others.  In your name we pray, Amen!