No Disguises

"You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar."

Psalm 139:2

Last night was trick or treating in our neighborhood.  I put the candy in the bowl and sat outside, waiting to see all of the costumes.  They didn't disappoint!  Little ones came up for their candy, dressed in some really neat costumes.  It reminded me of the days when I would dress up my little ones and take them around the neighborhood.  Most of those costumes were homemade (and I've probably scarred my kids for life!).  Yet, nothing was better than when they came home and sprawled their candy on the floor.

After the children left, I thought about the evening.  Yes, it brought back some great memories, but it also brought some thoughts for today.  As adults, do we put on our "costumes" as we move through each day?  Do we put on a facade that may not be the "true" us?  I'm sure many of you may say a stern, "Absolutely Not!".  I encourage you to do a bit more digging on those thoughts.

As we enter our days, our roles and responsibilities meet us head on.  Whether it is our job, our role as spouse, as child, as parent, or even on social media, we can portray someone that may not be "who" we really are.  We may want to put on our "best face", when inside we are crying.  We may put on the disguise of a "happy smile" when all we want to do is spit words of anger.  Or on the contrary, we may share a stern voice when all we want to do is chuckle (yes, I've had to use this one when it came to disciplining the children).  

Sometimes, we need to put on a disguise for others, depending on the situation.  There is One who will always know the true us - who we can never put on a disguise for.  Yes, our Jesus knows us - inside and out!  There may be times when we may believe  we are putting on a disguise for God, that the hurt we are feeling he can't see!  We need to always remember that God knows us and knows EVERYTHING about us.  He knows what is in our heads, our hearts, and our souls.  

He knows that even though we smile on the outside, it can be a disguise for jealous rage on the inside.

He knows that although we portray having it all together, it can be a disguise for  worry and doubt.

He knows that our social media posts of "happiness" can be a disguise for broken relationships.

God knows!  Believe it or not, we should find comfort in that!  Although we may not be able to hide from God, He also can mend our brokenness, heal our wounds, calm our doubts, and bring us to his righteousness.  We can ALWAYS be ourselves with God.  He is there for us so we can let down our guard and share with Him all that is in our hearts.  No disguises for our Lord - He knows "when I sit and when I stand."  The next time you put that smile on when you just don't feel it, know that God can see your heart and He will be there to heal your pain.

Heavenly Father, please give us the simple faith to know that you are with us always.  Although we may put on disguises here on earth, you see the true us.  You know our sins and our pain.  Help us through it all, Jesus.  May we take off our disguises in front of you so that our relationship with you can grow.  In Jesus' name.  Amen

The Corn Maze

"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home."  Luke 15:  4-5

Have you ever walked through a corn maze?  I have, a couple of times, and I always find the entire experience fun (and a little nerve racking).  I've done it once during daylight and once at night.  Each time, I've entered in with a sense of "This is no big deal - I've got this!" only to find out that my thoughts of success were short lived.  During the day, you are able to navigate the maze a bit easier, having the ability to observe markers along the way.  During the evening, when it's dark, it's a completely different experience.

As you walk through a corn maze, you have opportunities to go right or left, forwards or backwards, etc.  It is as the title says, a maze with many twists and turns.  I think it is always fun to see where your own intuition will take you.  Can you make it out on your own or are you going to have to "ask" for the nearest exit?  Will you rely on the insight of friends?  How lost will you get before asking for help?

When I passed a sign for a corn maze recently, I couldn't help but think of my experiences in them.  The anticipation of being successful was soon outweighed by me getting completely lost.  I realized the autumn corn maze can translate into scenes from my life.  How many times, when I decided I was going to pursue something on my own ,did I start with such anticipation of success.  Yet, soon afterwards, I found myself trying to navigate the twists and turns of the situation, without much success at all.  I may have started with a sense of "I've got this", yet it quickly turned to, "I'm lost"!

How long do I go before I turn for help?  Unfortunately, much longer than I should.  I will try to rely on my own intuition or even ask friends for help, but rarely do I immediately turn to the One who can find me and guide me.  Whenever I am lost, be it physically, spiritually or emotionally, I tend to try to find a way out of my messes on my own.  When I do that, I tend to get MORE lost, typically not finding the way towards success.

In walks my Savior!  When I'm lost, my God is always there to find me.  It is amazing when I cry out to Him, He will always guide me to the end - to success.  During the day, I may feel like I can navigate my way out of situations alone.  Yet, as the day gives way to evening, (or my clarity gives way to blurred vision), I realize the only one who can find me and save me is Jesus.  How grateful am I that He is always there - waiting to find me when I am lost!  

Our lives can often feel as if we are in a maze.  Obstacles or barriers face us when we least expect them.  The path can become rocky and our vision can become blurred.  Brothers and sisters, know that we are never lost.  Our Savior will always find us and bring us back home.  He is there waiting to rescue us and provide us the hope we need for success.  Shout out to him and He will bring you home!

Heavenly Father, I thank you that you will always find me when I am lost.  You will never leave me or forsake me.  When my path is rocky and I don't know which way to turn, please find me and guide me back home.  In your gracious name I pray.  Amen!

Power in Weakness

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."  2 Corinthians 12:9

"What I do know, is that when I didn't have the strength or desire to pray for myself, there were others who were praying.  And that the Good Lord heard them all and made my journey with cancer one I could handle.  He heard all those other prayers and blessed me - each and every day.  I felt His love when I couldn't feel others.  And when I cried out to Him in pain, he was listening.  As I sit here, among all of  His wonder and beauty, I know He will continue to walk with me."

Twenty years ago my journey with cancer began.  Above is an excerpt from the journal I kept.  This was actually written at the end of all my treatments, as I sat on a beautiful rock amid the Jackson Falls (the picture above).  Twenty years seems like a long time, but I remember every single detail of the day I was diagnosed.  Every year, I make it a point to read through that journal and remember the journey.  Some days were good, many were not.  Throughout all of it, as I reflect, I got a better understanding of the person, the Christian, I wanted to be.

So often, we see power as being best served when we are independent, strong, and courageous.  That can be true.  Those traits can provide us power over our lives to make decisions that are based for goodness.  Yet, so many times, we don't see the incredible power in weakness.  For it is in the weakness of our state that God is the strongest.  That strength, which can come only from God, enriches our lives, whatever we may be going through at that time.  It is that power I know I relied on so heavily during my cancer journey - it is the same power I rely on today.

Cancer can be a "biggie" on a life journey.  There are many other areas of life where, in weakness, we can find the power of our Lord.  Marital issues, physical strife, spiritual doubts, addiction pain, . . . the list can go on and on.  In my younger years, when these moments of weakness would come upon me, my first reaction was always, "I need to be strong" and I would rely on my own strength for that.  What I have realized is that I don't have enough of that strength on my own.  I can't muster up on my own the strength and power I need sometimes.

That level of strength and power can only come from God.  As He sees me on these journeys, He quickly comes to my side to hold me up.  Through His power alone, I can be strong.  Through His power alone, I can survive.  Through His power alone, I have peace.  God's power in my weakness equals hope.  Hope that the future will hold all that I need on Earth - and in Heaven.  We all have our times of weakness.  During those times, go to our God - the only one whose power can bring you the strength that we need to move on!  It just means we need to have Simple Faith.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for being the power and strength amid my weakness.  Help me to always turn to you first, not last, when I need help to go on.  Give me the faith to know you will always provide.  In your healing name I pray, Amen!

Get to Good

I have a routine - I'm sure most of us do.  My Friday morning routine is to leave my home for work and ensure that I stop at Dunkin Donuts to pick up a coffee.  It is my "once a week" treat.  Fridays are my guilty pleasure day - especially in autumn when Pumpkin Spice coffee is on the menu.  Yes, I may have been running five minutes behind schedule, but that's okay - it's Friday!

That five minutes turned into seven by the time I got to Dunkin.  Those couple of school buses I wasn't counting on didn't help.  Frustration was mounting.   I pulled up and the car directly in front of me had three teenage girls in it.  And it took them FOREVER to place their order.  ALL I WANTED WAS A COFFEE!!   Yes, my mind went from a "Yea, it's Friday" mind to a "You've got to be kidding" mind.  The mind started racing with unpleasant thoughts and my impatience grew as every second passed.  Finally - they got ALL their stuff and moved on.  I pulled up and the cashier said, "Those girls just paid for your order."  WAIT - Really??  A bunch of high school girls who were holding up my day paid for my order?  As you would suspect, all that pent up frustration melted away.  I passed on the kindness to the car behind me and went on.  I have provided random kindness for many in the coffee line, but never was the recipient.  

As I drove away, there wasn't a smile on my face.  There was a plea to God.  "Please forgive me God, for my lack of patience and my big bag of frustration.  These girls had put together their money to show me some kindness.  May I learn patience from this."  The situation deeply impacted me that day, and has since then.  I reflect back and realize so greatly that God wanted me to stop this pettiness and move forward.  Does that happen to you?  That small moment of negativity/frustration/anger/inconvenience turns into a mountain of nastiness.  For what?  Chances are it won't impact you long term.  God doesn't want that for our lives.  God wants to be pulled into our journey on Earth - by us!  He wants us to go to him, talk to him with our frustrations, and then leave them on HIS shoulders.  God will handle the rest.  Many times, just the act of reaching out to God with our "nastiness" changes our perspective and gets us to a better place. 

The situation reminded me of something I read from Joyce Meyer's book, Living a Life you Love.  In it she shares the 5 Minute Rule - if this is something that isn't going to impact you in 5 minutes, 5 days or 5 weeks, why are we putting so much energy behind it?  I shared it with my husband and now the two of us remind each other when we start complaining about something - "Five Minute Rule"!  Little things in life are going to happen and annoyances may fill our days.  Don't let them grow into mountains of "nastiness".  Give it to God and Get to Good!  Have some simple faith that God has this - He is so much greater than we are!  May your days ahead bring you less frustration and more happiness!  The end will always be better!!

Dearest Jesus - help me to look at situations with less criticism and greater understanding.  May I come to you with my small annoyances and may you change my heart to greater happiness.   Don't let me get to the mountain of nastiness - let me run to you with frustration and please change my heart so I can share your love.  In your gracious name I pray.  Amen!