Cultivating Relationships

Here we are, nearing the end of February - the month I fondly refer to as "love month".  Between the gearing up for Valentine's Day and the "aftermath", it seems as if the entire month has the word love surrounding it.  I am not complaining - I happen to enjoy Valentine's Day.  I have always looked at this day as not just celebrating spouses/significant others, but equally important, to share love with all members of our family.

I have a "true confession" to share.  I have moments when I'm not always the most loving at home.  I can hear my family saying "you ain't kidding", especially after a long day at work.  It seems as if I can speak kindly to those at work, and share happy moments with friends, but when I'm tired, frustrated, or angry, those that are closest to me seem to get all the "backlash".  They may not have been involved in getting me to that point, but they can receive the brunt of my exasperation.

Fair?  I think not - and I'm sure my family would agree.  Can you share the same scenario?  We can all sit down in a focus group to discuss this, but I'm thinking the bottom line would be this:  We feel most comfortable with those we love the most.  Therefore, it's okay to let our hair down around them and just be us.  Is that right?  It's great to be ourselves around those we love, but it doesn't give us the right to treat them unkindly.

Cultivating our relationships with those that are most important to us is crucial.  Cultivating means it takes work - as if cultivating a garden or pruning a tree.  What type of work:

• Treat those closest to us with the deepest respect - and showing it through our actions.
• Be gentle with our family, and show them through our body language that we care.
• Whether a gentle hug, a card of encouragement, or a smile, all those actions show respect & love.
• Speak words that will build our families up instead of tearing them down.
• Raising our voices and sharing unkind words can easily destroy a relationship
• Leave situations that are out of our control out of our homes.
• Speak to God on the way home to shed our frustrations and leave them on the shoulders of One who can handle of all of our anger.
• Pray together, for each other and those outside of our homes.  All need prayer.
• Recognize the love Jesus gives to us and let us share that with our families.

I'm sure there are dozens more ideas we can share on how we can cultivate our relationships versus tear them down.  Let's make a commitment to each other.  We won't take our difficult days out on the ones that we love most.  We will give our tough days to our Lord, the One who can handle all of our tough days and bring peace to us.  We will show those that we love most that we DO love them, all the time.  It's time to do some cultivating - let's garden together and bring love and joy to our relationships.

Heavenly Father, help me to cultivate my relationships instead of tearing them down.  Help me to focus on building up those around me so they can see and hear how very much I love them.  Fill me with your love, Jesus, and let me share that love with those around me.  In your loving name I pray.  Amen!

Am I Sure

It was a great day!  I pray for all of us that at the end of our days, we can say that.  Yet, truth be told, we don't always say that - at least I don't.  Some days are just not so great.  We can wake up ready to take on the world.  Then one misstep, one change of direction, one small blip on the radar screen, and it can take a very different turn.

I find that this happens for me when my confidence gets shaken.  I hope you can relate - those times when we have done our very best, all seems to be going well, and then "blip", somebody says something to you and you question your decisions, your path, your direction.  

Those times when:

• You worked hard preparing a special dinner, feel confident that you've made a great meal...
• then a family member says, "Are you sure you want to add this to the recipe box?"
• You researched and worked hard to have the perfect birthday party, confident it will be a hit . . .
• then your child says, "Are you sure the kids are going to like this?"
• You developed and delivered a great project at work, confident that everyone will agree. . . 
• then your boss says, "Are you sure this is the direction we should go in?"

"Am I sure?"  It becomes that immediate feeling that overwhelms me.  Maybe I'm not working hard enough, maybe I'm not good enough, maybe I can't see what other people can see.  "Am I sure?" becomes the lingering question in my mind, and the confidence I once had seems to have fleeted away.

Is this something you can relate to?  Feeling really confident in something you have done only to have it washed away?  This verse presented itself in three different situations this week - and made me realize that the reason my confidence so quickly vanishes is because my confidence is built on my actions.  Oh how wrong I am!!

When I trust in Jesus, my confidence takes a completely different turn!  If I go to Jesus FIRST, I find that I can feel Him beside me, guiding me, instead of me taking the lead.  Not only is the experience a much better one - the outcome is glorious - as my confidence is rooted in Him.  When does that happen?  When I go to Him in prayer BEFORE I start that dinner, that party, or that project.  When I ask for His guidance instead of my own.  He then provides for me all that I need - the confidence I need to keep going comes from Him. 

When I speak at a workshop, my prayers start when I am preparing the message.  By the time I need to stand before others, I may be a bit nervous, but I am confident that He has given me the words that will make the difference.  Trusting in Jesus gives one the confidence to move forward, in any aspect of life.

It's not easy - this thing called life.  It can be hard to have a great day every day.  Yet, when we trust in the ONLY one who can help us through life, we can be confident that every day is a great day.  He is with us from morning to night, and we can be sure that His loving arms are around us the entire time!

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving us the confidence to walk through our lives and to enjoy each day.  Not every day will be perfect, but when we trust in you and ask you to guide our lives, we can be confident that our direction is clear, our path is sound, and your love abounds.  May we always go to you to find our confidence.  In your loving name we pray, Amen!

Darkness & Light

The moon was amazing last night.  Apparently it was a Snow Moon - the first full moon in the month of February.  This full moon received its name as it was when the snow was at its deepest.  Because it was also the most difficult time of year to gather food, it has also been  named the Hunger Moon.  Either way, it was spectacular last night.  As we drove to do errands last night, the incredible Snow Moon was graciously following us. It was beautiful.

I believe the true beauty, though, was when I awoke in the middle of the night.  The moon projected such light in the immense darkness that the outlines of the trees onto the snow was breathtaking.  It illuminated every detail of the night and had me standing at the window with sleepy eyes, staring at the beauty.  I went back to bed with a profound sense of peace.

Fast forward a few hours and off to church we went only to have the Gospel lesson focus on salt and the light (Matthew 5:13-16).  Once again, the light struck my soul and gave me peace.  Throughout the Bible, we hear about how Jesus is the light of the world.  Yet, I love this verse in Ephesians.  Paul shares that we were once darkness, yet because of our convictions in Christ, we are now the light as Jesus is the light.  We get to live out that light every day.  What a blessing!

There is much darkness in our world.  Horrible and violent crimes, war, destruction - very visual darkness.  There is also the darkness that sometimes isn't as visual - hurt, despair, anger, addiction, etc.  All this darkness can have us question the value of spending time trying to be the light.  Oh brothers and sisters, there is so much to treasure in our ability to be the light.

Be the light to the elderly, and provide them assistance.

Be the light to the lonely, and provide them friendship.

Be the light to the hurting, and provide them healing.

Be the light to the depressed, and provide them joy.

Be the light to the lost, and provide them love.

It's hard to imagine that we, each and every one of us, can be the light to someone in need.  It is true!  Our actions, our words, our time - all of it can impact someone in darkness and bring them to the light.  We get to live as the children of the light.  Because of Jesus, we have the light we can share with others.  Be the light to those in need - isn't that exactly was Jesus did for us?

Oh Jesus, you have made it very clear that we are the light - as you are the light.  Help us to reach out to those in darkness and provide them the light that they need.  May we not shy away from these opportunities, but truly let our light shine.  Help us to be the Snow Moon for others!  In your gracious name we pray - Amen!

Temptation Suffering

There it was, plain as day this Sunday, that ugly word - TEMPTATION. Think about it.  When have you ever heard the word temptation in a positive light?  Rarely do we say, "Boy, was I tempted by that plate of broccoli!"  Now, replace the word broccoli with any type of cookie and I can relate.  Temptation seems to be all around us; from the temptations that pull us away from those resolutions we made in January to those that enhance our sinful nature.

Whenever I'm tempted, I feel as if I'm very alone.  I'm the only one on the receiving end of the temptation.  It's not like there is an army of people there with me - fighting off the devil and his tempting ways.  Yes, the temptation could be something as simple as that cookie calling my name as I try to stay on a healthy eating plan.  It could also be something much more damaging - the devil tempting me with a lack of self confidence as I try to stay strong, tempting me to partake in gossiping behavior, tempting me to deny my Lord on skip Sunday services.  Temptation is truly all around us.

There is Good News in our fight of temptations.  WE ARE NOT ALONE.  We have the One who endured greater temptations, than any of us, on our side.  We have the One who endured the face of the devil on many occasions.  We have the One who understands our suffering when tempted because HE has suffered when tempted himself.   We have the only One who can help us when we are tempted - Jesus Christ!

With Jesus on our side, we have the only one we need standing with us!  As long as we go to Him when tempted, He can help us and guide us away from temptation into the glorious light!  With Jesus, we can break the temptations that are with us every day and live a life that hails Him as our true Savior.  With Jesus, we can rest in the peace of knowing He has this fight for us - AND WE WILL WIN!

Whatever temptations you may be facing, addictive behaviors, sinful natures, etc., know and believe that we have what it takes to resist those temptations.  We have a loving God who is standing right next to you, defeating what the devil has put in front of you.  With God on our side, we will be triumphant!

Heavenly Father, thank you for being with us and fighting the temptations that surround us every day.  May your love reach our hearts and minds so we know we are not alone.  Help us to say NO to those things that may hurt us and bring us to your loving side.  In your gracious name we pray, Amen!