Fear in the Waiting

 

Immediate Fear!  There are many times in our lives when fear is thrusted upon us by the circumstances we find ourselves in.  We are walking in the woods and a bear is upon us.  We are driving in the winter and a snow squall is upon us.  In these situations, the danger comes upon us quickly and we have an instant reaction of panic or fear.

Yet, what happens when the situation is NOT immediate.  Those times in our lives when the fear comes in the waiting of certain situations.  It may seem comical for some, but I have a deep fear of the dentist.  I have never had a terrible experience at a dentist.  I did not even have a cavity until I was twenty-six.  Going in for a cleaning throws me into a fearful state.  Any procedure bigger than that?  I will leave that up to your imagination.  What will they find, will it hurt?  The fear of the unknown takes its toll on my psyche.    Once done, I leave, and I am fine – until the next six months arrives.

I think back upon other times in my life when fear was not immediate but was deeply rooted when I needed to wait.

•         Fearful of the diagnosis while waiting for biopsy results.
•         Fearful of surgery results of a loved one.
•         Fearful of what chemotherapy will do to my body.
•         Fearful of not meeting expectations of others

The fear in waiting can be daunting.  It can overcome every part of our mind and body.  As my fear in waiting grows, so does my ‘what if’ scenarios that go with that.  It is hard to have that ‘glass half full’ mentality when the devil is reaching in and guiding you to the darker side. 

In walks the One who conquers fear.  In walks the One whose power over death can bring power to us.  In walks our Lord!  When we focus not on fear but faith, the power of our Lord replaces the darkness of the fear.  Faith does not mean that what we are fearing goes away, it means that we have One who will walk with us during the waiting.  Jesus will be there when we get the results, He will be there during chemo treatments, He will be there while working towards a better marriage or job.  Our Heavenly Father is with us during the waiting and brings us through to the other side. 

The result of our fears may not always be what we want to hear.  In my case, the diagnosis was cancer, the chemo made me extremely ill, and the result was divorce.  What I found was that when I put my faith with the Lord, the fear subsided, and God’s peace engulfed me.  That faith may have been through a certain Bible verse I would say repeatedly, a devotional I read every day, or as simple as prayer.  When I gained faith in the waiting, the fear receded.  And the love of Jesus filled me.  Instead of being afraid in the waiting, I pray that all of you will find faith in the waiting.  Find faith, find love, find peace!

Dearest Jesus, may I turn to you when I wait.  Help me to take the fear that I have and move it to your faithful guiding hands.  Pour your love around me and help me to see that whatever fears I have in front of me, Your presence and love abounds.  Amen!

 

Salvation

 

Easter Sunday!  I am sure the day was filled with donning our finest for Easter services and Easter egg hunts for the little ones (or big ones)!  I remember filling eggs for Easter egg hunts when the children were younger.  When we blended our family, I was going to ensure all four children would have a wonderful time.  I purchased the plastic eggs, filled them with goodies and my husband and I hid them throughout the yard.  The next morning, with baskets in hand, the children went to find the eggs.  Much to my dismay, the experience ended in tears with the ‘fastest’ getting the most eggs and the others disappointed. 

Only one year of that taught me that each year after that, we would ‘color code’ the hunt.  Each child had their own color, and the same number of eggs to find, which proved to be much easier to manage.  Yet, there was always one who could not find that last egg, or even worst, I missed filling an egg and someone received an empty egg!  There is nothing worse than opening something, expecting to find a gift inside and it is empty.  What a disappointment!  Maybe it is a Christmas present with nothing inside.  Or a birthday envelope with no ‘gift.’  When we expect to see something and it is not there, sadness creeps in.

Let us follow the women who followed Jesus to the cross, and to the tomb.  These women, led by Mary Magdalene, were there when they crucified Jesus.  They took the walk to Jesus’ death.  They prepared the spices for the proper burial, honored the Sabaoth, and waited until Sunday to go to the tomb.  Then they saw the empty tomb.  They were expecting something to be inside, their Lord should have been inside.  Yet, the tomb was empty!   Soon the angel appeared to share the good news of Jesus rising from the dead.

On that incredibly special morning, the emptiness of the tomb was the world’s greatest gift.  The walk to Golgotha was our gift from Jesus.  The cross was our gift from Jesus.  The tomb was our gift from Jesus.  The gift Jesus gave to all of us, by taking on our sins, dying on the cross and most importantly, rising from the dead, was the best empty gift ever!  Through his resurrection, we have received true salvation.  Our place in heaven is waiting for us.  We will never have to feel empty again, for we are filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus’ gift to us.

Easter Sunday is the day of our salvation.  When Jesus rose from the dead and left the tomb empty, He showed the world how the devil can be defeated.  Each day may we give thanks to Jesus for our salvation and the home he has lovingly prepared for us - our eternal home. 

Dearest Savior, thank you for the many gifts you have given to us through Holy Week, especially the gift of the empty tomb!  May we remember and give thanks to you every day for your gift of salvation and the day we will see you in paradise.  Amen!

Jubilation

 

The rain started as little droplets from the sky.  Nothing big, just a drop here and there.  I watched as they came down thinking, “Just a spritz for the ground.”  Within minutes, it was as if the heavens opened and released all the water from the clouds at once.  It was not just raining, it was pouring, and the water moved from a spritz to a downpour.  How quickly things can change in an instant!

I likened this event to our sinful lives.  Just a couple ‘little’ sins, a harmless lie, or a thought my Lord certainly would not approve of.  Yet, they are little – just a spritz of sin.  Everyone has them!  Nothing to really concern ourselves with, we just continue with our lives with a smile on our face.  Then, within minutes, the sins downpour.  The lies move from ‘little’ to boulder size.  The thoughts turn into inappropriate actions.  What seemed like manageable sins turned into a guilt-ridden life.  The weight of sin overcomes us, and our emotions turn from carefree to prisoned by guilt.

Today marks the beginning of Holy Week – a time when, as Christians, we experience an intense emotional rollercoaster.  During Lent, our focus has been on words such as reflection, simple life, repentance, forgiveness, and now we move to Jubilation (at least to start the week).  Palm Sunday, the day Jesus rode on a donkey into Jerusalem.  Shouts of “Hosanna” rang through the air.  People laid palm branches and coats down on his path.  For Jesus’ disciples, I imagine them saying to themselves, “Finally, the adoration he deserves.”

As we are all aware, the jubilation of that day quickly turns to a downpour of horrific events.  Jesus rides into Jerusalem that day knowing he was riding to his death.  Although he had shared that with his disciples, I am sure on this day, that was the farthest thing from their minds.  Reveling in the outpouring of love for Jesus, the day took on a festive and joyous tone.  It is a wonderful celebration, even for us.

Although today is a joyous and jubilant day, one to be excited and happy about, it is hard to not look forward in guilt and pain.  Jesus took that ride into Jerusalem for me and the downpour of my sin.   He took that ride for me so my guilt would turn to joy.  He took that ride for me because he loves me.  So today is a day of joy and jubilation.  Today is a day to know we have a Lord that loves us so much that he is willing to take a ride to his death.  Today is a day of hope, grace, and mercy.

Today, let us celebrate!  Just as the downpour of rain turns into sun and rainbows, let us send up our own hosannas to the one that takes our downpour of sin and guilt and turns it to freedom and hope.  Together, from Psalm 118:24, let us shout, “This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  May everyone have a blessed Holy Week!

Dearest Jesus, your love and grace is seen today as we remember your ride into Jerusalem.  Let us take this moment to shout our hosannas to you, the great I AM!  May we revel in this day of hope and help us to shout our joy of thanksgiving to you.  Amen!

Forgiveness

 

It would be difficult to walk on this Lenten journey without highlighting the word forgiveness.   Last week, our focus was on repentance, our ability to spend time reflecting on the things we have done wrong, our sins, and asking for forgiveness.  Why is asking for forgiveness so important? 

When we focus on our sins, all we have done wrong, it can bring us to a very dark place.  Our sinful nature drives us to despair, knowing that we will never be able to live up to God’s expectations.  As I write this, I think about the few hours I have been awake, and I already see the sins I have committed.  Living in that darkness can feel as if we are the small rock underneath a huge mountain. 

Yet, there is such good news waiting for us in the arms of Jesus.  In Jesus’ kingdom our reflection and repentance gain us forgiveness.  This forgiveness does not come from just anyone, it comes from the ONLY person who can truly forgive us, Jesus.  By his suffering and shame, we have life and hope.  We do not live in the darkness; we live in the light of the cross.  Our forgiveness becomes the light by which we can get up and live every day.

How grateful we should be to our Lord!  Just as Jesus forgives us our terrible sins, he asks us to forgive those who wrong us.  Sometimes this can be a very tall order from God!  When someone hurts me the last thing, I want to do is forgive them.  Nope, I am going to spend some time with that hurt, engage in a bit of self-pity and even a bit of bitterness to those around me.  Especially if they did not even ASK for forgiveness.  Why would I want to do that?

Here is the hard truth my friends.  Jesus asks us to.  Colossians 3:13 shares, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Now that is a tall order!  Notice what Paul is asking us to do.  He is not saying “If someone asks for forgiveness, THEN you should forgive them.”  He asks us to forgive as soon as we have a grievance.  No pity party just pure forgiveness.  Jesus does not hesitate with us; we should not hesitate with others.

The act of forgiveness can be so cleansing.  When we receive Jesus’ forgiveness, we get to crawl out from under the mountain and stand in the light on top of the mountain.  We can breathe again, knowing we have been forgiven by the one who takes away our sins.  Jesus is asking us to do the same for others.  I have held grudges.  I have had resentment.  I have hesitated to forgive because I was too hurt.  I remember the day I decided to forgive someone who deeply hurt me, not because the person asked for forgiveness, but because Jesus asked me to forgive.  I moved from under to the top of the mountain.  My heart was full of Jesus.  Do not hold on to the hurt.  Jesus does not want that for us.  He wants us to live in His light.  Take those hurts and let them go.  Say with me, “I forgive” and feel the light of Jesus.

Dearest Jesus, I thank you for forgiving me all my sins.  That list is long and still you never hesitate to wash away my sins.  May I do as you ask, to forgive those who have wronged me.  Help me to see the light of forgiveness, my own sins and those of others.  Help me to bask in your warmth every day of my life.  Amen!