Hope in Darkness

 

I remember the day well.  It will always be a part of my soul.  The day that I lost hope in the darkness.  I had prayed and prayed for so many things.  I prayed that the results of the chemo treatments I had wouldn't continue to plague my health.  I prayed that the workload I was trying to endure would ease up.  I prayed that the marriage I was trying to save would either heal or move on.  I prayed that the relationship wouldn't be such a burden on my soul and heart.  Nothing was happening.  God didn't seem to hear me and if He did hear me, He wasn't responding.  I was losing hope that He would ever hear me.  The faith that I always had seemed to be wavering.

That day, that fateful day, I lost control.  I sat in my car, sobbing.  I didn't know where to turn, I didn't know where to go.  I just sat there and cried.  The only place that seemed to have refuge was in a church seat.  That's where I drove.  In that chair, I looked at the cross and sat sobbing and pouring out my heart. The hope that seemed to have left my heart was being restored.  My faith, that seemed to have been lost, was coming back.  I left everything I had at that cross.  The hope that Jesus gave so many over 2000 years ago when he rose from the grave was the same hope my heart seemed to be feeling again.  My faith, my simple faith, had returned.  Not everything was fixed, but Jesus gave me the strength to continue to fight.

This past week seemed to be a week of darkness.  So much had gone wrong, to people I know, to situations that occurred.  They joyous uplift of the new year seemed to be overshadowed by things that had gone wrong.  I did as I have done so many times in my life.  I turned to the One who can bring hope in the darkness.  I brought my fears and my prayers to Jesus.  In my words and my thoughts, I prayed.  I prayed for healing to so many.  I prayed for joy amid the sadness.  I prayed for faith in the doubters.  I prayed.   I prayed that other's faith would be restored as mine was.  I prayed for strength for all.

Jesus is with us, even when we don't feel Him close.  He will always be our hope in the darkness.  The plan he has for us (remember Jerimiah 29:11), will never be what we expect, but it is always His plan.  Jesus' goal for our life is that we stay close to Him, stay close to His plan.  It may mean we need to endure adversity and heartache.  Yet, He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).  He is there for us, even in our darkest hours.  Have simple faith!!

 Dearest Jesus, continue to be our hope in the darkness we endure.  Shower us with your light, your hope and may our simple faith continue to believe in You.  Amen!