Joy in Waiting

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."  (NIV)  Hebrews 6:15

I waited, and waited, and waited.  The activities of our family seemed to be taking over time that I felt I desperately needed with my husband.  Just time for us.  As we lived through our busy days, I just longed to spend some time with Juan.  We didn't necessarily have to go on a vacation, I just wanted some precious time - time without distraction.  This just seemed to be scarce in our worlds.  Like many of you, our days are filled with work, chores, activities, more chores, more work, etc.  Yes, we might sit on the couch together for a few minutes, but that was what it was - a few minutes.  I couldn't remember the last time we relaxed with each other and laughed like we used to.  I kept waiting for that moment.  The more I waited, the more discouraged I became that our time would never arrive.

I am sure that many, if not all, have felt that desperate waiting.  Maybe we are waiting for news in our lives; maybe we are waiting for a family member to reach out; maybe we are waiting for a new job; maybe we are waiting for our children's events to take place.  The waiting game, as I've written in previous blogs, can be a difficult place for us to hang our hats.  

To fill the gap of waiting, many times we try and put our OWN agenda in there.  Been there - done THAT!  Usually, that is never very successful.  Sometimes as we wait, we fall into despair, that what we are waiting for will NEVER happen.  That can be a very ugly place.  Sometimes as we wait, we lament heavily, and bring those around us down with us.  Can't imagine I'm very fun to be around during THOSE times.  As we wait, though, we don't typically focus on the joy that may be right in our sight.

I'm sure you are all saying - JOY?  Really Susan, can there be actual JOY when we are waiting.  I think there can be, and I think we often overlook that opportunity to see the joy in the midst of the wait.  Where can the joy be hiding?  Many times, it's not really hiding - it can be staring us right in the face.  As you wait for news, we could be pouring into prayer and understanding that our God is always with us as we wait.  As we wait for family members, we can do our own reaching out to others who may need US versus US needing someone else.  As we wait for the new job, maybe we can search other passions and hobbies that can help us in our search.  As we wait for our children to move through life itself, maybe we can take time to remember the joy of memories passed and look to new memories we can make ahead.  Yes, there can be joy in the waiting.

Where the wonder of it all comes into play is that God has the plan.  There is a reason why what we want NOW is not coming.  He has that wonderful master plan that only HE knows.  Yes, don't we all long to know what that plan is?  How much fun would THAT be?  We wouldn't take the time during the wait to grow closer to our Lord - and isn't that what He wants the most - to be close to Him?  We have opportunities during the next wait to focus not on the despair, but the joy.  All the learnings and growth that happen during those times.  We will never understand God's plan - but we do have the hope in His perfect love.  Now that's a gift worth waiting for.

So, what happened on that long wait with my husband?  Last weekend, Juan suggested we take a drive to Cape Cod - about 2 hours away.  What, time for us?  I jumped at the request and before I knew it, we were off for a day of US.  I can't even begin to share the joy I felt that day.  Some moments were filled with wonderful discussions.  Other moments were silent.  The best part was that we were just "us".   The dust may have been a little higher on the coffee table.  The laundry may not have gotten done until Sunday versus Saturday.  It didn't matter.  The time was right!  During our time together, we talked about our waiting period - and realized that there was joy during that time.  Joy in seeing our family make decisions.  Joy in knowing we might have helped out someone who needed it.  Joy in doing God's will at that time so we could enjoy His will for our time.  What did that take?  Just a little simple faith!  May you have the faith to have joy during your waiting time. 

"Heavenly Lord, so often we wait for things, situations, or people in our lives.  The wait can put us into a very desperate place.  The wait can make us so impatient that we put OUR agenda into the wait versus taking the time to wait for YOUR agenda.  Please help us to be patient in the wait, and during that time, find the joy that you want us to!  Bless us to have the simple faith you provided to us.  In your name, AMEN!" 

Detour to Beauty

"He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set the eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."  (NIV) 

 Esslesiastes 3:11

Those of you who have read my blog for the past two years must be saying, "When is she going to talk about her favorite season, AUTUMN?"  I'm sure you were patiently waiting :)  Here it is, but with an important lesson I learned along the way.

I rush to get to work in the morning.  I'm an early riser and I have no real NEED to rush, other than I believe I will never have enough time to finish all I need to get done at work.  Come on, we have all been there - never thinking that we have enough time to get something done - regardless of our occupation.  Then I rush to get home - to get the things done that need to be done at home, dinner for my family, errands and chores, etc.  In that case, nobody is making me rush but me!  I have a very understanding family.  Yet, I put this pressure on me to keep moving, moving, moving.

The other morning there was a traffici jam on the main highway I take to work.  So I needed to detour.  Once I came to grips that I wouldn't be at work at the time I had set in my mind (an hour earlier than I needed to be), I relaxed.  Then I started looking.  I looked at the houses and yards I was passing.  I looked at the trees.  Yes, fall is truly one of those times when I just can't get enough of the outdoors.  On this particular day, God reminded me of why I enjoy this season so much.  The beauty.  The incredible beauty that surrounds us, especially in New England in Autumn.  I then realized I was rushing through autumn, my most favorite season.  

I couldn't help but think of the other many seasons of my life I had rushed through without stopping to look at the beauty.   When I look back, there were times when my children were growing up that I rushed so much - instead of stopping and relishing in their beauty.  There were times with family and friends that I rushed instead of stopping and spending time - the beauty of their friendship and love.  There were times that I didn't see the beauty of a situation that God provided to me because I rushed right through it.  There were times. . . . 

The beauty of autumn has that reflective time for me, when I look back at things I can improve upon.  With God's help, I will start taking the time.  No more excuses of having to clean the house or getting three weeks ahead on a project.  It all gets done.  I will try to put aside the "rushing" and replace it with"reflection".  No, it won't be easy.  Our old habits die hard, don't they?  But I will, because I don't want to miss the beauty God provides to me - not just in the beautiful trees, but in the beautiful people!

All of you take time to read my blog, of which I am eternally grateful.  Please, I ask you to take a few more moments.  Look out your window.  Whether you live in a city, suburb, or the country, there is beauty everywhere.  Look inside your windows.  Whether it is your family, your friends, your pets, or your home, there is beauty everywhere.  Detour and find the beauty God has so graciously provided to you.  Reflect on His majesty.  We can never explain the beauty that we will find - for only God can do that.  But we can enjoy the beautiful gifts that He has given us.

"Dearest Lord, help your children.  Help us to take a detour from our busy and rushed lives to breathe and appreciate the beautiful gifts you have given to us.  They are all around us in so many things - beauty that can only be explained as a gift from you.  Thank you for those gifts, God, especially the beauty of your most precious gift, Jesus."

Strength to Weary

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." (NIV) Isaiah 40:29

Sixteen years ago yesterday, when I was 36 years old, I heard those words, "You have cancer."  It's an odd thing when you hear those words.  In my case, the doctors and nurses had "prepped" me for hearing those words - they shared that there was a high probability, that I should be prepared, that someone should come with me for that appointment with the surgeon.  Yes, I was well prepared, until I heard those words.  Then everything that I thought I was prepared for went out the window.  Lots of other thoughts entered in.  The greatest of them all was, "what will happen to my girls if I die?"  And that was the last thought I had like that - after that - the battle began.

I would love to tell all of you that I was the vision of strength during this battle.  I would love to tell all of you that I was strong and ever relying on God.  That, my dear friends, would be a lie.  There were times when I felt strong.  There were times I gave my illness to God.  And then there were other times when I didn't.  I would get tired; I would get sick; I would wonder why.  Before my diagnosis, I was a woman on the move - work, children, wife, daughter - all those roles had me hoofing it!  I was always on the go and very rarely did I stop for anything.  There are many times I wonder if that was part of God's message to me during that time in my life.  Yet, you can imagine how frustrating it was to be moving on all cylinders to come to a complete stop.

Maybe that was the greatest difficulty.  Being tired - and not just tired - weary.  Completely drained of any energy whatsoever - having no energy to get out of bed, to take a shower, to only have energy to lie on a couch.  That was horrible for me.  I looked back into a journal I kept during this point in my life and found the following:  

                     I was nauseous, I constantly find myself tired - 1.5 weeks after my third chemo treatment.  It's such a horrible feeling of "unusefulness" (I know, not a word).  I really don't want to go through round four.   I am just plain tired.  I'm tired of trying to help everyone else feel comfortable with this.  I'm tired of trying to get up for work.  Yet, if I don't do this, I am afraid that people will find me weak.  That for me is unacceptable.

 

It was unacceptable for me, and that is a problem.  My Savior knew me better than I knew myself.  He knew what I needed.  That was when something made me move.  Something made me get up, take a shower, hug my children, and smile.  It wasn't 'something', it was 'someone'.  It was my Dear Lord.  Reflecting back, He was truly the only one who could give such strength to my being weary.  He was there despite me not always praying. He was there despite my questions of why.  He was there when I felt so lonely.  HE WAS THERE.  HE GAVE ME STRENGTH.  I look back on that time in my life and wish I was stronger in my faith.  I wish I had prayed more, read the Bible more, latched onto God more.  I didn't.  I was tired.  Yet, when God gave me the strength that I needed - He also gave me the faith I needed, the hope I needed, the love I needed - from HIM!

The good news is that when I couldn't, God could.  He didn't leave me, he supported me.  He gave to me even though I didn't give to Him.  Praise the Lord for His goodness.  I am one blessed lady!!  Unfortunately, I know many others over the last 16 years up to today that have heard the same words I heard.  They are God's children fighting the good fight.  They are moving forward and not looking back.  The Lord provides the strength for them each and every day.  Blessed are all of you who are strong, albeit weary.  Know that I am praying for you that our Dear Lord will continue to walk with you as He walked with me.

We all have times in our lives when we grow weary - when we don't know how we can take another step, we don't know how we will go on.  Rest in God's grace, for He knows you are tired, He knows you are weary, and He will give you the strength that you need.  Let Him hold you.  Let Him comfort you.  Let Him love you.

"Dearest Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to move closer to you.  When I am tired, Lord, you come alongside of me and lift me up.  When I'm not sure if I can go on, you make sure I know I can.  Please continue to walk beside me Jesus, for without you, I will fall.  With you, I know I can make it through all my earthly days."

Storm Coming

"He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"  Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm."  (NIV)  Mark 8:26

"The storm is coming," I remember my dad saying when we knew a big rain storm was coming.  He liked the big storms.  He used to stand in the garage and watch the lightening light up the sky.  He always wanted me to join him.  Nope, not me.  That wasn't my idea of a good time.  To watch that truly scared everything in me - and still does today.

Recently, the east coast had some severe weather.   It seems like that is happening a lot these days all across our country.  Difficult weather through rain, flooding, heat, fires, etc.  Yet, the storm that has always had an impact on me when I read about it is the storm that Jesus calmed on the lake with the disciples.  It  has always amazed me how Jesus just stands up, tells the waters to calm, and that's exactly what happened.  It is a beautiful picture of Jesus calming the fears of the disciples - those closest to him - with a few words from his mouth.

I think of that story and know that I often act as one of those disciples.  I am the one to get into the boat with Jesus, to try and live my life the way he wants me to, to believe everything he has ever taught us in the Bible.  Yet, as the disciples did that evening, I fail to have the faith that he wants me to have.  I try to live with the boldness and courage that we as Christians can live by.  Yet,  there are times when my faith is not strong, when I become afraid.

Yes, I have to admit, many of those times are when there are storms in my life.  When the winds and the waves become tumultuous, when the problems seem too great to bear, I seem to fold under the pressure.  Just as the disciples said to Jesus, "We're going to drown," I also feel that I might drown - drown in all the things that are going on in my life.  Maybe I have so much to do I don't believe it will ever get done.  Maybe I want harmony and peace that just doesn't seem to be around me.  Maybe there are financial struggles.  Whatever the storm is, I tend to wait until I am right in the middle of it before I pray, before I "wake up Jesus" to my problems.

As we know, he is there all along.  He is there long before the problems started building.  He is there far before the storms.  He is with us each and every waking moment.  It is up to me to cry out to my Lord.  It is up to me to ask for the help.  It is up to me to trust my Lord - truly trust him with all that I know.  Then it is up to me to wait for his love to surround me.  I need to have the faith that he wants me to have.  I need to not be afraid of any part of the storm - the lightening, the thunder, the wind and the waves.  He is with me - and will always take care of me.

Are you facing a storm in your life right now?  Do the days seem to bring stormy weather?  Remember, we have one on OUR side that watches over us, takes care of us, and calms the storm.  Settle into the boat with Jesus.  Give him your storms and have faith that he will calm the waters you are in.  Picture your boat mate - picture Jesus holding your hand as he calms the raging waters.  He is there for you - trust in him.

"Heavenly Father, thank you for being the one to calm our storms.  We know you are there for us to rely upon and to bring us to calmer waters.  May we always reach out to you and have faith that our lives will be more wonderful with the hope in our future with you.  Grant us the peace that comes with calmer waters, and the faith to know you are in control, Jesus.  In your gracious name we pray, Amen." 

Drivers and Passengers

"Whatever you have learned or received from me, or seen in me - put it into practice.

Annd the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4:9

This past week, I began teaching a leadership series at work.  The first chapter was dedicated to Drivers and Passengers.  It reviewed when we are the associate, we play the role of passenger.  Many times, as the associate we can do things that we can't do as leaders (drivers).  As an associate, we may occassionally be able to get away with coming in late, spending a few extra minutes at lunch, have a bad day, etc.  As a leader/driver, we need to be more responsible, our time is not our own, and we need to try and have very minimal bad days.

The analogy came from the driver/passenger in a car.  As a passenger, you may be able to get away with texting, talking on the phone, playing the music a bit louder, or generally have fun (as we see in the picture).  A driver needs to be more responsible, is not able to text, needs to pay attention to the road, and may not necessarily have as much "fun" as the passengers.  After class, my thoughts jumped to our lives as Christians, and the difference between being a passenger or driver with Christ.

As a passenger Christian, I see the role as being one of "going along for the ride".  Yes, you may occasionally go to worship, say a prayer or two during the week, etc.  You may very well believe in Jesus as our Savior, but some of the activities associated with being a Christian may not be activities you want to participate in.  As a passenger Christian, we may want to rely on the help or assistance of others to drive us through our Christian journey.  As with any passenger, this certainly isn't a bad thing. Having faith in our Lord is of crucial importance.  Yet, let's  look at someone who my be driving their own journey with Christ.

The driving Christian may seek out opportunities to engage in furthering their relationship with Jesus.  What does this look like?  Perhaps you see if there is a local Bible study you can join (or even lead); is there a service opportunity you may enjoy participating in; how about a daily devotional to get your morning going; does someone need your assistance during a difficult time; is the church council, church choir, Sunday school staff in need of a new member; do you have a friend who is struggling and needs your prayers - yes the list can go on and on.  Does being a driving Christian take time from our days?  It certainly does.  Does being a driving Christian mean that certain days your time is not your own?  Possibly.  Yet, what it does bring us is the joy of seeing our Lord in an entirely new light - one that blesses our lives so much greater than anything we can do ourselves.

Why is that?  Because we get closer to our Lord with each moment we share with Him.  When we fill our days with Jesus, we see the glory of Jesus in everything that we experience.  We drive down the path that HE wants us to have - not a path that someone else is driving for us.  It could be the path that we need right at that time.  Have I always been a driver of my faith?  Not always.  There have been times in my life when I wasn't able to drive - for many different reasons.  The good news is when we can't drive, there are drivers out there to help us - to drive for us - and help us to get back into the driver seat.  I am blessed to know many of those wonderful drivers and give thanks to them.

Spend some time deciding whether you are a passenger or driver in your faith.  If you are a passenger, maybe there is something you can do to get into the driver's seat and gain that closer relationship to our Heavenly Father.

"Dearest Lord, help us to drive the faithful journey you have laid down for us.  May we take the steering wheel and drive towards a closer relationship with you.  And when our lives take us towards the role of passenger, may you put drivers in our paths to help us along the way."

Wisdom in the Truth

It's amazing how reflection can provide us different perspectives.  Reflection of our own moments, reflections of our children's moments, reflections with work, reflections on relationships, . . . .  Reflection helps us to gain perspectives throughout our lives.   It is through these reflections that we can truly value our learning, our accomplishments, our failures and our growth.  The difficult thing about reflection is that it takes time: quiet, solitude time.  So much in our lives today doesn't allow us to have that reflection time - yet, without it, we continue to march to a beat that may not be meeting our needs or God's needs.

I had the pleasure and honor of spending some time in reflection this weekend with some wonderful friends.  We reflected, we shared accomplishments and failures, we provided dreams and frustrations, we learned.  Most importantly, we spoke truths.  There's something tough about truth - it's not always easy to hear and many times it isn't what we expect.  Yet, it is in those moments of truth that we find the wisdom we need to move forward. 

I received much wisdom from these women this weekend.  Some came directly to me through conversation, some came indirectly through other conversations, all of it was taken to heart to help me learn.  I don't know about you, but there have been many times in my life, whether it be work or relationships or parenting, when I have asked for advice and counsel.  I have turned to mentors at church and in the workplace.  I have turned to my parents and siblings.  I have certainly turned to my husband and also my friends.  What is wonderful about advice and counsel from all of these people is that it has been truthful.  It may not always be what I want to hear, but I know it comes from a place of love and caring.

How about you?  Have you had the honor of people sharing their wisdom of truth with you?  How did it make you feel?  Yes, sometimes it's not easy, but when we reflect on the wisdom of truth, we know that what they have shared has mostly been correct and when followed has proven great results.  Since the beginning of time, God has provided us with people to give advice and counsel.  Think of the great prophets, of Solomon with his great wisdom.  Throughout Biblical history, the wisdom of truth has been passed down through generations.  Yet, there is something that needs to accompany the wisdom of truth - simple faith.  Faith in the wisdom you have now received and the faith that the new path will lead you to a better place.  Faith that God is the ultimate counselor who we can always turn to for the truest of wisdom.  Faith that when we listen to God's word, our reflections become action.  Simple Faith.

If you have had the honor of receiving the wisdom of truth lately, tuck yourself away in a special spot for a moment of reflection.  Reflect upon the words of others and say a prayer of simple faith that God will lead you to the path that is correct.  If you need some of that wisdom of truth, seek out that special someone who not only shares what you WANT to hear, but also what you DON'T want to hear.  Remember, the truth is what is important.  Always, confirm the wisdom of truth through God, reaching out to Him in prayer and thanksgiving - giving to Him what he always desires of us - time!  May the week ahead provide you an opportunity to reflect - and may that reflection bring you peace.

"Heavenly Father, you have provided us a great gift on Earth, those who can share the wisdom of truth with us.  May we value their wisdom and continue our learning through these gifts.  Let us have the simple faith that this wisdom helps us to continue down the path you have paved for us, one by which we grow closer to you.  In your gracious name we pray, Amen."

Power of a Memory

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live.  Teach them to your children and to their children after them."  Deuteronomy 4:9

It  has been one of those weekends.  It started on Friday and, even as I write, the memories keep flooding back.  It doesn't seem to matter what I do or where I go, there is a special memory that must be tucked down deep in my heart that is getting pulledl to my mind.  I have to say, most have been wonderful and positive memories.  Memories of special times with my parents and brother growing up, memories of high schol and college; memories of first jobs, when my children were born, vacations, special dinners, even simple walks  -  all these memories just coming back.

Memories are such a powerful thing.  I found myself sharing my memories a lot this weekend, with my husband, our children, the dog, anyone who would listen!  What I found as I shared my memories was not only the look on the other person's face as I was speaking, but the smile that was coming from my own face.  I found that as I shared, all the emotions of those special moments filled me up - made me feel good.  It was amazing.

Yet, this time, something different happened than when I have had reflective memories in the past.  It happened when I was at my dad's gravesite - getting it ready for fall.  As I cleaned up the lillies that have already passed their season and laid the mum that will adorn his site for a few weeks, there was a feeling of thankfulness.  Yes, for the first time, I took time to thank God for all of these wonderful memories I was having.  Usually the "good feeling" of memories comes and goes.  This time, I didn't want it to go.  More importantly, I needed to thank God for so much at that moment.  

I thanked God for letting me remember, for bringing all those wonderful thoughts and times back to me.  I thanked Him for blessing me with those special moments.    Those moments were filled with such love and joy and all of that can only come from our Heavenly Father.  I thanked Jesus for giving me the salvation I so much do not deserve so that the memories I have here on Earth can one day be shared again with those that are already in our heavenly home.  There was so much to be thankful for.

As our lesson for today shares, when specal moments happen, they need to stay in our hearts and be shared with others.  We can't let go of them.  We need to take those moments and not just keep them to ourselves, but give them to others --  to increase their joy, their happiness, and their knowledge.  Especially our children.  I watched a mom and daughter have a special moment the other day.  It was truly precious and, yes, helped me to relive memories of my own.  I shared with that mom to keep that moment, that very simple moment, close to her as they grow up so fast.  She smiled and I knew she understood.  

Now, I know, that we all have memories that may not be wonderful and pleasant.  Yes, we need to thank God for those memories too.  Although they may be painful, through those memories we grow, and learn and move on.  Even those memories can be shared - for helping others to learn from our mistakes, our pain.  It is important to not only remember, but to share! 

As we begin the week ahead, I ask that you take a few moments, maybe after you finish reading this post, to think of a memory - a good memory - and cherish how it makes you feel.  I would love to hear from all of you and those great memories you are having.  Feel free to post them at the bottom of this blog.  And may all of you enjoy the power of a memory.

"Dear Jesus, thank you for the power of a memory.  Memories are such an important part of us; they fill us with warm feelings of happiness, joy, and yes, maybe even sorrow.  Yet, we know that all of our memories are blessings from YOU - our Heavenly Father.  Be with us as we move forward in the week ahead, and fill our hearts with gracious memories from you.  In your gracious name we pray, Amen."