Slander Vice

 

Slander – defined in my words, is to tear someone down through speech.  It takes our expression of anger, rage and malice towards another person and is conveyed through words.  Slander is typically done behind a person’s back, although I am certain there are instances where slander has been shared in front of the person one dislikes.  Slander is so terribly damaging in any form.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”   I am 100% certain that there is not a person reading this post that has never been hurt by words.  Words do hurt, whether you are a child or an adult.  I have shared unkind words and have felt horrible about it – apologizing and asking for forgiveness.  Slander is different.  There is strong intent to hurt the person with words.  It may be directly towards the person, or even worse, behind their back.  Gossiping, speaking falsely about another, and damaging their integrity are all examples of slander.

Slandering is hard not to take personally.  It is specifically meant to hurt.  My friends, if we are on the receiving end of slander, it hurts.  Not acknowledging the hurt only fuels the hurt further.  What can we do?

·         Take time to sit in reflection when slander is sent your way.  The words may not contain any truth, but it is worth examining all the same. 

o    “Search me, God, and know my heart…” Psalm 139:23-24

·         Go to God in prayer.  Ask for His strength and guidance in responding.

o    “For people have opened their wicked and deceitful mouths against me .  . but I am a man of prayer.“ Psalm 109:1-4

·         Remember, do not respond with evil words or deeds.

o    “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…Do not take revenge…’It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”  Romans 12:17-19

Now, the true reflective moment when WE are the ones to slander others.  As certain as I was that we were on the receiving end of slander, I am also certain that we have slandered others.  Friends, our job is to share good thoughts with everyone – yes, even those who we may be frustrated with.  Ours is not to judge.  Ours is not to speak ill.  Ours is to build up.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Ephesians 4:29

As we focus on slander, may we take time to go to God in prayer when we are so angry that all we want to share are unkind words.  Ask God for words that will build up, not tear down, the person.  Ask for God’s help in holding back our judgment and letting God do that for us!  Have Simple Faith that He will provide.

Video that complements this post:  Slander Vice

Dearest Lord, be with me during slanderous moments.  If I am on the receiving end, please stop me from responding with words that will hurt and take the situation to you.  If I am the one who wants to slander another, stop me!  Help me to find words that will build the person up, not tear them down.  Amen!

Malice Vice

 

Malice – a desire to harm, hurt or get even with someone.  Although I may not have ever desired to actually harm someone, getting even with someone?  Well, that is a different story.  We have discussed anger, the feeling that burns inside of you when you have been wronged.  Rage is the outburst that happens, our mouth takes over and says things out of anger.  Malice moves towards intent.  You want ill on the person.  You may want some sort of revenge or may even silently rejoice when the person suffers.  Have you ever felt that way?

I am not happy to admit it, but in my lifetime, I have experienced malice.  Thinking back upon those times, I am deeply ashamed of that feeling.  Often, we believe it is ‘justified’ to feel malice.  The person hurt us so much that our hearts and souls were broken.  They deserve what they get, and I hope it is something bad!  Although I may not have outwardly shared those words (maybe I have), I have certainly thought those words.  Have you?  Have malice thoughts crossed your mind?

Friends, isn’t it wonderful that we have a loving and forgiving Lord?  He has given us the perfect example of how we should respond when someone hurts us so deeply.  Think about all those close to Jesus who hurt Him and how He responded with humility and love.  One of the greatest examples of this would be Judas.  Judas betrayed Jesus and brought the soldiers to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus knew this long before the Last Supper and when He washed the disciples’ feet.  Yet, He did not single Judas out.  He did not show malice to Judas.  He showed humility by washing Judas’ feet and continued to love Judas to the end.   

The next time the urge to seek revenge on another comes to our hearts, may we remember our Jesus.  Replacing thoughts of malice with humility and love can be difficult.  It is hard to forgive someone to the point of kindness, yet that is what our Lord showed us.  If Jesus can show humility and love to the disciple who gave Him up for death, I can certainly try to show kindness to someone who hurts me.  When we do that, I am certain the Holy Spirit will fill our souls with peace.  The peace of wishing good versus harm can permeate your heart and become a blessing.  This is not easy, but it is possible – with the grace of God and simple faith!

Video that complements this post:  Malice Vice

Heavenly Lord, please replace malice with kindness in my soul.  May the situation that hurt me so much be turned around.  Help me to see goodness in the other person and be a model that walks in your light.  Bring me peace through the kindness shown.  Amen!

Rage Vice

 

This morning when I was watching the news, a story of road rage came on.  Two people stopped right in the middle of a highway, got out of their cars, and proceeded to barad each other and then damaged each other’s cars.  Rage takes anger to an entirely different level.  When I think of rage, either mine or others, I see red faces, flanging arms, burrowed brows, standing tall, and lips filled with angry words.  Rage is the outward expression of anger that encompasses yelling words and showing explosive behavior. 

As Paul asks us to rid ourselves of the vices listed above, rage is outwardly powerful.  I have experienced rage towards me; it was one of the most frightening experiences of my life!  I was scared – scared mentally and scared for my physical being.  This incident happened decades ago, but it has stayed with me all this time.  Rage has a way of hanging on.  Experiences of rage are not easily forgotten.  The same holds true when we show rage in a situation.  Although it may not be often, I am certain that I have had moments of impulsive outbursts that have embedded their ways into people’s memories as well.  This is behavior I am not proud of and have asked for forgiveness from those I offended and from God.  Rage is an emotion that can be contained and responded to differently.

Self-control, a fruit of the spirit, is a way for us to contain rage.  Our ability to NOT lash out but to control our responses to another in a combative situation is what Paul is asking of us.  This means that we have to change the response from demeaning words and explosive actions to thoughtful words and respectful actions.  How can we do this when we are so angry we want to “spit nails”?  In walks our Holy Spirit!

Friends, when anger fills us up and rage is upon us, we need to step back.  Often, this can take the form of actually stepping away from the situation.  Gaining perspective, breathing while counting to ten (or maybe fifty) can lead to a vastly different response than shooting words towards the one you are angry with - words you cannot take back.    While stepping away, it is time to have a conversation.  Not a conversation with the person you are angry with, but a conversation with God.  This is your opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit to step in and relinquish your anger for self-control.  This is the time to let the Holy Spirit know you need help and to remove the rage you are feeling.  Asking for help in this manner is why God is within us – helping us and guiding us to better decisions. 

When anger is getting the better of us and rage is gaining control, remember to call upon our Lord.  He knows our flaws.  He knows our sinful nature.  He is ready and waiting for us to call upon Him for help in all situations – even those of anger.  Have Simple Faith that He is available to us at all hours to help us and rid us of the vice of rage!

Video that complements this post: Rage Vice

Dearest Lord, please remove rage from my heart.  Take away the moments where I want to explode in anger and replace them with self-control and respectful words.  Fill my heart, Lord, with your grace and mercy.  Amen!