Restful Sleep

 

Peaceful rest used to elude me.  I would have the greatest intentions of getting "a good night's rest", only to find my mind racing.  The events of the day would run through my mind and I reviewed my actions, my words, what I should have done, and what I should not have done.  After a day filled with busyness, I would have expected my body wanting rest.  Yet, I would find myself counting the minutes and hours as they passed by and I would still be awake.  Just as frustrating were the times I would fall asleep, but would wake up a few hours later.  I would ponder all the problems in my life, my family's and my friends, and try to fix them - all the while trying to get back to sleep.  I have spoken with many folks who find themselves in the same sleepless situation.

At one point in my life,  my inability to release the day's events led to me taking medication so that I could sleep.  When that didn't work, I took more.  All I wanted was to go to sleep and stay asleep.   My quest for a decent night's sleep led me to a night when the amount of medication was very much out of control and my family was worried.  The next day I found myself in the doctor's office, gaining help.  With the assistance of my family doctor, I was prescribed medication that assisted me in going to sleep and staying asleep.  Yet, I didn't want to rely on medicine.  Of course, the answer was always in front of me - God.

There are so many wonderful verses in the Bible that talk about laying our worries and anxiety at Jesus' feet so that they can be taken off of our shoulders.  God is never too big for our problems.  The good news?  God is WAITING for us to come to him.  David knew this.  As we read the Bible, David certainly had his fair share of problems.  He had many enemies that were looking to destroy him.  Some of his problems were certainly created by his own actions (can we relate?).  Yet, he never took his sight off of the one who was there to take his worries away.  David knew his rest would only come in the arms of the Lord.  With all that David had to worry about, he knew his peace could only come with God.  What faith that is!  Brothers and sisters, our rest is the same all these years later - our rest can only come in the arms of the Lord!

I wanted that peace.  I wanted to be able to release my worries and cares to God so that I would rest peacefully.  After five years taking a prescribed drug to sleep, I made the decision to turn to God and ask for his help.  It took some time, and definitely some behavioral changing on my part.  Yet, a few years ago, I found it.  I found the peace that let me put my head on the pillow at night and realize that God had everything in control.  I remember waking up the next morning with praise and thanksgiving for a good night's sleep by relying on God.  

When the thoughts and problems of the day stop us from gaining rest, give it all to Jesus.  Maybe you write down everything you are thinking about and close the book before sleeping.  Maybe you pray and give your worries to God.  Maybe you vision God sitting at your bedside, holding your hand, and helping you release the worries of the day.  Maybe you do all three!  There are still nights where as I rest, sleep can still elude me.  It is those nights that I reflect and talk to my Lord, the one who is waiting for me to chat with him, and give him my worries.  I pray that you will lie down in peace with God, and may he provide you sleep in the safety of His arms.

Dearest Lord, thank you for being the one who is waiting to hear my worries and problems.  You are always available to talk to.  When the problems of the day keep me from restful sleep, may I come to you, God, and lay my worries at your feet.  You ask me to give you my worries, my anxiety, my problems.  Lead me to do this, Lord, so I can gain the restful sleep my body needs.  In your gracious name I pray.  Amen!

Time for Peace

It was time.  Time for a change of scenery.  The past few months have had its share of disappointments, frustrations, sadness and plain exhaustion.  I am certain many of you are feeling the same way.  With all the discourse in our world today, it is hard to find a moment of peace.  I know I was missing that from my life.  Therefore, it was time.Juan and I set out to have a weekend to find peace.  We had tried to do this at home, and although we are grateful for our home, we knew we needed to leave it for a weekend.  This way, we wouldn't be pulled to find chores to do or get knee deep into work.  Where to go?  We were limited to New England, so we decided to go to the mountains and to the ocean.  Fortunate for us New Englanders, that is fairly easy for us to do.  We set our sights to Jackson, New Hampshire.  We checked in and decided to walk to the falls.  It was there, sitting on the rocks in the picture, that we knew we had found what we were looking for.  Peace.  As we sat there, thanking God for all He provides, we had realized that what we needed was peace.  We needed to put the world of today aside, just for a few days, and be re-energized by God's beauty.  As always, He didn't let us down.It was time for peace - the type of peace that only God can provide.  It is the peace that regenerates our souls.  It is the peace that fills our hearts.  It is the peace that brings hope.  The world today needs hope.  Hope moves our thoughts from despair to joy, from the past to the future.  We can try to find hope in people, places and things.  Yet, the only One who can bring us true hope is the one who overcame the world.  He brought the hope of salvation and brings us hope each day.Find a place where you can have time for peace.  Maybe it is different scenery.  Maybe it is your backyard.  Maybe it is thr mountains, the beach, or a lounge chair.  Wherever you can find some time for peace, sink into God's word and know that the world of today can be given to God.  May we ask for His help to bring hope to our lives - hope that brings peace.Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing peace to our lives, just when we need it.  Only you, God, know what we need!  We are in need of peace and hope dear Lord.  Guide us to ways where we can find this peace - peace for our souls and hope for our hearts.  Amen!!

 

Healing Disappointment

It was a special day, a great day of celebration (at least in MY mind).  The day should have been filled with love and joy, yet it ended in heartache.  I put my feet on the ground in the morning with a smile on my face and the day ended with tears in my eyes.  I was living with disappointment.  I’m not talking about disappointment like it rained on the picnic, or I spilled coffee on my dress.  It was the type of disappointment that leaves a hole in your heart.

As we struggle with those types of disappointments, they can last much longer than a day.  They can last weeks, months, years or a lifetime.  I find that as I navigate a large disappointment, it can impact much more than that moment – it moves into how I look at situations and even relationships.  My disappointment can manifest itself into negative comments, lack of patience, and high emotions.  Have you ever been in such a place?    Has you heart felt that type of disappointment?  I was there, but my larger problem was, how was I going to move on?  My spirit was crushed and pain filled my soul.

We can all live our lives trying to find the cure for disappointment.  Some may find it in shopping or eating.  Others may find it in drinking or medication.   To be honest, my first reaction was to complain about it, to myself!  I spent hours thinking and re-thinking of how all of this disappointment came to fruition.   How were my expectations so far off?  Why wasn’t it getting better?  I knew where I needed to go – I needed to find my restoration in Jesus.  Nothing on this Earth can help me in these areas of my life. 

One would think that Jesus would be my FIRST step towards recovery.  Yet, I continue to struggle in that area.  I believe that “I” can fix things.  “I” can remove the hurt.  “I” can make it better.  When the days and weeks passed and the hurt was still there, I realized what I was missing.  I was leaving Jesus out of my disappointment.  Our verse from today clearly shares how HE is the one that is close to me, that can save me.  He is the one that can fix things, remove the hurt, and make it better. 

I pivoted.  I took my focus off of me and turned my heart towards Jesus.  I prayed, I asked for guidance, and I talked to him instead of talking to me.  I prayed in the lonely moments.  I prayed in the moments of exasperation.  Only as Jesus can do, He began the healing.  He began showing me, guiding me and loving me.  Jesus had entered my heart and the tide had turned.  Is the disappointment gone?  No, it’s not.  Yet, the way “I” deal with the disappointment has changed.  The new perspective that God gave me has replaced the sorrow.  The whole in my heart has been filled with the love of Jesus.  Is it perfect?  No.  But it’s a start – a start I’m willing to take – with Jesus.

Dearest Jesus, thank you for always being there for me – even when my first thought is not you.  Disappointment can drain our hearts and souls.  Let us remember to turn to you and let your guidance and love surround us during these times.  Fixing takes time.  Your love and support will be with us for as long as it takes.  Amen!

Clarity

The other morning I woke to a sky of fog.  As I peered out the window, the fog of the day seemed to fit my mood.  I began my morning routine as always, yet, my mind seemed to be a bit "foggy".  This is odd for me, as I typically have great clarity and planning for my day.  Yet, today seemed different.  Driving off to work, I passed golfers on the first tee.  They were blindly hitting their ball in the direction of the "flag", not being able to see anything.  I thought of how "purposeless" that must be, and then discovered I was doing the same thing - headed off to the direction of my "flag", aka work, without much clarity.

Half way through the morning I had realized something.  My lack of clarity had resulted in me going about my day without the same structured purpose I expect from myself.  I was following distractions which led to the purpose of my day to wane.  I needed some direction, some focus.  I needed to move out of the "fog" and into the "light".  There is only one person who can do that for me - Jesus!  I opened my Bible app to find a verse about rising up out of the fog and our verse for today popped up.  How true - my clarity needed to be Jesus - seeing HIM face to face.  

The root cause of my fogginess, whether it be a morning or a time in my life, has typically been attributed to my lack of diving into Jesus.  Maybe I skip it "just once" in order to begin the challenges of the day.  Maybe I skipped prayer time to look over a few emails before work.  Maybe I chose a different radio station other than Christian music to start my day (although fully knowing my Christian music centers my mind on the right things).  

When I turn my face away from my Heavenly Father and focus it on my reflection in the mirror, I lose my way.  I lose my clarity.  I become foggy.  My dear Lord provides me the love and direction I need to move through every day, and He's always waiting for me to come back to Him when I need a change in my reflection.  Gaining ground in Jesus and His love pulls me closer to Him and helps me to know what is truly important - the love of my Lord.  I have read 1 Corinthians 13 a hundred times and this verse never made an impression.  That foggy day, it cleared my head and provided me refocus.  Jesus took me out of the fog and gave me the clarity I needed.  The rest of my day?  Purposeful and joyful - for I knew the One that loves me more than anything took my hand and guided me to Him.  This verse reminded me that one day, I will see Him face to face and I will never be foggy again~~

Dearest Jesus, thank you for giving me just what I needed on that foggy day - clarity.  Through your word you showed me that if I changed my direction and took my view away from MY reflection and moved it to YOU, the fog would be lifted.  Thank you, for guiding me always to what is best for me.

In your name we pray, Amen~

Blueberries & Forgiveness

As many already know, I'm an autumn girl.  Summer is not necessarily my favorite time of the year.  Yet, one wonderful aspect of summer is blueberry season.  As a child, when my dad would get the family in the car and share that we were going blueberry picking, there were usually heavy sighs from my brother and me.  Yet, we would carry the blueberry bucket and pick those little gems.  As an adult, I cherish those memories and look forward to getting into the blueberry patch. 

Saturday morning was my day.  I was the first one at the patch (ten minutes before it officially opened).  The owner was gracious enough to let me begin my morning of happiness!  Blueberry pickers can be a selective bunch.  Once you pick a row, you pretty much have to stay there (an unwritten rule).  Also, many pickers like selecting one or two bushes and staying there.  Not me, I'm a nomadic picker - wandering from bush to bush for the perfect blue jewels.  The bounty was great on Saturday and I picked over eight pounds in my bucket within a short period of time.  Yet, the revelation came as I found one bush with so many berries on it.

I looked at all those berries and thought, "my goodness, my sins are much like these berries."  The abundance of berries is what caught my attention and I realized that my sins were in abundance as well.  Over the years there were "large" sins and "small" sins - yet as we know, all sins are the same to God.  My heart began to ache as I realized that regardless of how hard I may try to "do good", my sinful nature creeps its way in.  There are the sins that I commit, maybe not even realizing it at the time.  There are others that I actually think about - and make the wrong decision to commit.   Then there are the sins of things that I should do, but don't.  

As I ran my fingers through the blueberry bushes, I realized the multitude of sins that I have in my "bucket".  My heart grew heavy thinking of my sins.  Then, by what can only be described as the Holy Spirit, my heart grew from heaviness to joyfulness - realizing that by the wonderful grace and love of Jesus - my bucket was free from sins and filled with blessings.  By the incredible love of Jesus, my sins have been forgiven and forgotten.  What a blessing!!  That morning, in the blueberry patch, Jesus reminded me of how much he loves me - sins and all.  What a glorious savior we have.

Sins can weigh heavy upon our shoulders.  The memories of sins from long ago can creep back upon us and burden us.  The love of Jesus takes care of that weight and brings us the blessing of everlasting life with him.  There is no greater joy than that.  The next time you may be feeling the weight of your sins, remember the blueberry patch of forgiveness, where the multitude of sins have been covered by the one who rejoices in us!

Dearest Jesus, thank you for loving us so very much that you sacrificed yourself for all of our sins.  May we always look to you for guidance in our thoughts and actions and when we fall, please continue to be there to pick us up and love us.  In your forgiving arms I rest, Amen!

Appreciation

Sitting at my desk at work this past week, I ran my fingers through my hair - and stopped mid way.  Just stopped.  Then I took my other hand and ran my fingers through my hair.  And stopped.  My breath stopped as well.  I could feel my eyes well up and I'm thinking, "Really?  You're going to get emotional here and now?"  The memory brought me back over 20  years, when I ran my fingers through my hair and clumps of hair came out.  Like running water, the hair kept falling out.  Here I was, 20 years later, remembering that moment in time, and appreciating where I was today.

Later that day, I'm home sitting on my back deck watching the breeze blow through the trees and the same thing happened.  It was as if I was stopped in time, just reveling in the leaves turning up and down on the trees - as if I had never seen them do that before.  I looked to my right and there was my husband, on his phone like he has a million times before.  Yet, in that moment, I remembered not having his love in my life and appreciating where I was today.

With all that is happening in our lives today, we have so much vying for our attention - media, family, friends, work, etc.  It seems wherever we turn, there is something that says to us , "keep on going - you need to do more, get more, see more . . . more, more more."  That day, that very special day, the Holy Spirit was telling me - stop and appreciate.  It was more than "stop and smell the roses".  It was much more like, "stop and give praise for all you have."

Whether we believe it or not, we are all rich.  No, not the monetary rich that can buy you lavish houses and huge yachts.  I'm speaking of the richness that we get when we can rest in the arms of our Lord.  When we can step aside the daily crazy and step back into the knowledge of Jesus' love, whatever we have at that moment is exactly what God wants us to have.  For me that special day was realizing that I had hair - and remembering the days of chemo when I wasn't as fortunate.  It was realizing that love is the rest and contentment that you have with someone after a long day of work - and remembering that love isn't constant bickering and anxiousness.  

Our Lord is with us, each step of our days.  He never leaves us, he always provides.  Those provisions may not be the riches of this world, but they certainly are the riches of the heavenly realm.  Appreciating what we have at the moment brings a level of peace.  Thanking God for all of that richness is all He asks of us.  Take this moment.  What are you enjoying, right now, as you read this?  Is it a simple cup of coffee.  Is it the sunshine, the rain, the simplicity, the busyness?  Take the time to realize that at this moment, wherever you are and whatever you have, it is a gift from our Heavenly Father.  Give him praise at this moment - give him your thanks that He has stood by you, never leaving you, in all that you have.  God is Good!!  Let Him know it!!

Dear Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you.  As I sit at this moment and realize all the goodness you have given me, my joy overflows.  Praise and thanks to you, God, for never leaving me - for always being beside me.  Your love covers me in peace.  May I never forget that.  In your name I pray.  Amen!

In the Moment

I should have known better.  It wasn't as if it hasn't happened 100 times before.  I lay the plans.  I plan for days and months, for the perfect scenario.  It all seemed exactly the way I wanted it.   Lists upon lists, emails upon emails, texts upon texts - all leading up to the "big event".  I thought about hiring a caterer to do the cooking, but "I can do the cooking better".  I thought about asking for help, but "I didn't want to bother anyone."  I thought about . . .  oh, it's just easier when I do it myself.

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?  I have spoken with enough people to know that I am not the only one out there who believes the best laid plans produce perfect results.  I am also not the only person who has been taught otherwise by God!  Planning isn't a bad thing.  In fact, it's good to have a plan or a course of action.  It's also important that the plan is set with our eyes on Jesus.  That can be a piece of the equation that I sometimes forget.  I get something in my head and keep pushing forward, not asking God for His help along the way.

When the plans I make get averted, my typical response is to fret and to be disturbed by the inconvenience of my plans not going my way.  Yet, I am learning.  I am realizing that being in the moment, whatever that moment provides, is so much more rewarding than a "plan going right".  Being in the moment that God has provided has proven much richer than my plans being executed.

I thought about Jesus on his "plan making".  Yes, God knows the ultimate plan for each of us.  Yet, when Jesus' plan would go array, it didn't stop him from his mission.  No food for 5,000?  Not a problem - fish and bread it is!  People wanting to be with him when he was tired?  Not a problem - there is time for everyone.  Someone needing to be healed on the Sabbath?  Not a problem - healing was more important than any rule.  Jesus lived in the moment, up until his last moment on Earth.  

Being in the moment provides us the ability to truly relate to those around us.  Enjoying who you are with and why you are with them is far stronger than the perfect meal or the perfect experience.  I am starting to realize that the "being" is far greater than the "planning".  Expectations of perfection will always leave us short.  Experiencing the moment will always fill us up.

Next time plans take a side step to what we expected, let us all not focus on what is NOT happening, but what IS happening - the plan that God wanted all along.  I'm learning to smile during those moments and say, "Thank you God" versus "Why God?"  The answer is so much sweeter!

Dearest Lord, thank you for your gentle reminders that your plans are far greater than mine.  As I make plans for the future - whether small or large events - may I connect with you first and ask for guidance.  Please provide me the insight that only you can.  In your name I pray, Amen!