It is amazing how one person can take control over another. I know when I say, "take control", many viewpoints and definitions come to mind. I want to define this type of control - the type I have felt - when I have let another person guide me. They have guided my actions, my behavior, my feelings, my life. This has happened to me over the years in a variety of ways. It has never felt good. In the beginning of the relationship, there was a time by which I was providing a service, a need for this person. By the time I realized what was happening, my world began to be pulled out from under me. I began losing many things - most of all, my self-respect. When that started happening, I never liked what I saw in the mirror.
I consider myself to be a fairly strong, independent, and self-guiding person, until I found myself in these situations of others taking control over me. Sometimes it was an actual person taking over my actions, as I mentioned earlier. Other times, THINGS would take control over me -things like stress, lack of time management, or food. All of them led to destructive paths that never left me a better person. This strong, independent person became weak and full of self doubt. I am sure that many others, others who are reading this, have been in this same situation.
Has there been a person you loved who gained control over you and you became a person you never wanted to become? The day you finally looked in the mirror, you were scared by what you saw? I have - it was terrifying. Has there been a person who demeaned you, helping you to believe that all the good work you might be doing is worth nothing and that you know very little when you truly do know quite a bit? I am there- it is demoralizing. Maybe it is the day when you have dealt with a bad situation and run to the nearest ice cream store, french fry bonanza, or donut house to justify that the bad day you had deserves the highest caloric intake possible- although you know that what you are putting into your body could possibly move you towards deep health problems? I have been there - it can crumble your self discipline.
I have struggled with all these situations, and others, that have let someone or something take control of the good me, the better me - the me I want to be. Better yet, the me God wants me to be. When it happens it can destroy me - and bring me to a dark place that only Satan wants me to be. I want to go where GOD wants me to go. I want to be the person God planned me to be. The control that others have on me is NOT God's control. HE is the one I want to have control over me. So how does that happen? How do I let GOD be the one in control? There are many ways.
For me, I need to begin by surrounding myself with His word. It needs to come in many forms and it needs to be frequent. I need to start my day with devotion. I need to have Bible verses that guide me to Him in front of me - on index cards at work, in my purse, on my nightstand. I need to be involved in Bible studies - sometimes online with thousands of people, sometimes at my kitchen table with close friends, all times immersed in God's word. I need to realize that I am His child and that He loves me and wants the best for me.
Next, I need to surround myself with His music - on my way to work to start my day with praise, throughout my day (if possible) to lift me up, and at the close of my day, to help me see His light. I have come to really enjoy this time with God, and I realize that when I listen to music focused on God, my praise and spirit is lifted heavenward.
Last, but never least, I need to pray. My prayers need to be constant, fervant, and heartfelt. I need to open myself to God - realizing that whatever has a hold on me, control of me, has to be released and Hi love and grace needs to fill me up. This typically happens when I am completely open and honest with God. Let's face some facts, He knows me better than I know myself. He knows when I come to Him totally exposed. Many times that may not be the case. I certainly can feel in my heart when it is - and I'm sure God knows it too. Prayer brings God and me together - as one. I feel as if He is sitting right there and is saying, "Let me take control, Susan. Let me guide you." When that happens, I know my life becomes complete.
When someone or something takes you away from God, it can be devastating. The feeling of loss, at least for me, is a feeling that presses on my soul. How do you feel when that happens to you? Let's not take back control - let's give control to where it belongs - to God. Let's let the Holy One fill us up and guide us forward. Are you ready to give control? Walk with me, read with me, sing with me, and most of all, pray with me. Here's to giving control to God, may it enrich your life completely.
"See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut." (NIV)