"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."
1 Chronicles 16:34 (NIV)
Love let me down. When you get married, you expect it to last a lifetime, at least I did. So with high expectations and a vision of my future at the age of 24, I got married. It wasn't everything I had hoped for. Yes, there were good times, but there were very difficult times. Thirteen years later, love was no more. I blamed me. I blamed him. I questioned God - A LOT. I couldn't understand why God would let that happen, why he would let me suffer and let my family suffer - A LOT. It didn't seem right, and it certainly didn't seem fair.
Divorce can be difficult, and stressful, and just down right miserable. It was truly one of the most horrible times in my life. Yet, it's not just the love of a spouse going wrong that can be difficult. Maybe it is the love of a child or of a parent that has let you down. Maybe it is the love of a friend. All of these scenarios can cause us to question love. I know that when I started questioning why love was eluding me, I turned my questions to God.
I wasn't questioning God in a doubtful way, just a "I don't understand your plan" way. I didn't doubt that He had a plan for me, but I wasn't quite getting it. I used the time when love seemed far away to ask God what I was supposed to learn from all of this. In doing so, I grew closer to God. I may not have been getting answers to my "love dilemma", but I was getting answers about me. I began to see where my gaps were, and where I needed to gain strength. My strength needed to come from God, not from man. My love needed to come from God, not from man. When I realized this, my eyes were opened.
Think about this for a few minutes with me. Undoubtedly, God has provided you an opportunity at some time in your life to evaluate earthly love. Those times can be seen as difficult and heart wrenching times, but usually these times are in our paths for a reason. They are, what I like to call, learning moments. We don't see them as learning moments at the time, yet, months or years down the road, God helps us to yield learning moments. Look back upon your life, where gaps of love may have occurred. Chances are, you have grown in those moments. Maybe you are in one of those moments now. How do you fill that gap?
With the only love that will endure forever, God's love. God's love is there regardless of when earthly love may have let you down. God's love fills the gaps. God's love blankets you every day. God's love is with you to eternity. God's love is constant, good, and right. God's love will never let you down. While you are working through your learning moments, lean on the love that will always be with you, God's love.
After love let me down, God provided me with the greatest blessing, a love that I could have never imagined could be. God sent me my husband Juan. Twelve years ago today, we blended our families and our love under God's watchful eye. God has blessed us every day. Yes, there have been times when life provided challenges. Yet, our love was not challenged - it is good, right and strong. I believe God took my learning moment and turned it into a wonderful gift. I now can appreciate a marriage full of love and joy. Take your learning moments, the time when love may have let you down. Know that you have the love of a Heavenly Father who is with you always. He will provide for you exactly what you need - remember - He knows the plan.
Dearest God, thank you for providing us with a love that endures forever. When earthly love may let us down, help us to learn from those moments. May we turn to you and your love to bring us up and move us forward. You love us, God, far more than we can love ourselves or each other. Help us to always remember that. In your gracious name we pray, Amen."