Chaos!! It seems as if my world is always filled with chaos - from the time I wake up in the morning until the time my head hits the pillow at night. Is my world truly that chaotic? Or do "I" make it that way?
I'm pursuing two Bible Studies at the same time, exploring a life time goal, working a full-time (plus) job, trying to be a good mom to four children (16-23 in age), be a great/loving/supportive wife, ensure I'm a good daughter, support my friends (something I truly feel like I'm failing at), etc., etc., etc. . . . Most importantly, as with many women, there is a NEED to ensure that it is all done "perfectly", with every detail managed and every minute accounted for.
Why? Why is there this sense for "doing it all", ensuring that "everyone is pleased", making sure it is all done without any mistakes? Who owns all of that? The truest answer to that question, is "I" own it. I own what I put into my life. I own how it gets done. I own the level of stress that I incur with it. I own the "perfection" that is needed. I OWN IT!!
So, therefore, if I OWN IT, then I am the only one that can do something about it. When I looked at everything in my life and the true source of the stress that I am feeling, finding the root cause was soul searching. What does it boil down to? The reality that I can't always do it all, and that it can't always be done perfectly. I CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING.
Yes, there are many times this "control" fault that I have can become an obsession. You can ask my family. We took a family vacation to Disney World once. There were the 6 of us, my mom, and my brother and his family - 10 of us in all!! I had every moment of every day we were there planned. What day we were doing what park, the order of the rides we were going on, reservations for dinner were made WELL in advance (really - how else did you expect to feed 10 people at the same time), alarm clocks were set (try telling a bunch of teenagers they needed to wake up at 6:45AM while on vacation). Yep - EVERY MINUTE. By day two, my brother looked at me (after ride two) and said, "Are You Serious??? Can't we go on rides when we WANT to go on them." My plans were shattered. But you know what? The stress of having to be in a certain place at a certain time subsided. I could let go . . . . but that was many years ago - and those lessons are hard to learn.
During my Bible Study on Stressed Less Living, we are reading the book by the same title, author Tracie Miles. Page 35 says it so clearly - "if you can't fix it yourself, never mind it~ Put it in God's hands, and let him do the work." What truly makes me think that I can have BETTER control than GOD?? He who is in control of everything.
I am looking forward to this journey of Stressed Less Living and pouring my soul into a "new me" that pursues time for my Lord as well as time for me. I just need to remember . . .
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible."
(NIV) Matthew 19:26