"Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
"Today I feel alone and I need to. Today I feel scared. One can read all they can, ask as many questions as they can and listen to doctor's explanations, but no one can get chemo for my cancer expect for me. No one, including myself, can tell me how it will feel. No one can say "Don't be scared", because I am and it won't go away."
The above is an excerpt from my journal 19 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I look back at the pages of that journal every year, hoping to find glimpses of me back then. Each year, when I take the book out, I find a little bit of me - the person that I became after the cancer. I look back at the descriptions of events as they proceeded, memories of my family and friends and their incredible gestures, thoughts of God and how he provided the strength I needed. That journal has become a look into my past - and into my future.
When I think of those days long ago, I am overwhelmed by the generosity of most of the people around me. Yes, cards and meals were wonderful. Most of all, it was the prayers for strength. As much as I wanted to get better right away, it took an enormous amount of time. Staying with me were family members and friends, willing to be patient with me, gentle with me, holding me in the palms of their praying hands in love. I look back now and fully understand the generosity they provided to me. My deep prayer is that I have been able in some way to give back to them.
How God teaches us! Through His Holy Spirit working in others, I was able to see the work He was doing. Through his grace and mercy I received strength, I received hope, and I received love. Through his Word I received courage. Through His will, I received joy. So many times we aren't sure if we are helping people when they are in need. The greatest gift we can give to others is the gift of God through the hope in their situation. It is because of these situations that I live my life, present and future with a grander sense of hope.
Hope comes in many forms - cards with inspirational verses, a warm meal, a cup of tea, a journal, a visit. The greatest hope comes in prayer. God just wants us to fold our hands and cry out to him. If we are the ones in need of hope, give your burden to Him. If others need hope, pray for them. Know that God is listening and providing. Hope is the catalyst for change. Hope is the strength to move forward. Hope is God.
I was blessed to have cancer. Yes, you read it right. Blessed! Blessed because I received a chance to see look at how I was living my life and was provided the opportunity to live a life closer to Jesus. After my first chemo treatment I wrote:
What is really important? Faith where you can find joy, peace happiness, sadness & still find hope. A family that loves you unconditionally. A child's hug, kiss, secrets, smiles and hope that never falters. Friends who love so much that they keep on giving. A day, whether rainy or shiny, warm or cold, full or empty, but it's another day in the Lord.
Dearest God, many times we look at our past as a big mess. The challenges that we might have been through seem dirty and situations that we want to forget. Help us to learn from the past Jesus, so we can have hope in our future. Hope to make different decisions, hope to come closer to you, hope in your name! Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment