Beauty of Pain

 

October is one of those months.  I absolutely adore and look forward to all the beauty this season brings, as referenced in the previous posts.  I look forward to all my senses being awaken through autumn.  I revel in the beauty seen through the leaves, the wind on my face, the smell of wood fires, the taste of crisp apples and the touch of a smooth pumpkin.  For eleven months out of the year, I yearn for all these wonderful aspects to come to life.

Yet, there is one feeling that always creeps around the corner and sneaks up on me when I least expect it in October - the feeling of pain.  It is as if it peeks around the edges of my life, waiting for me to let my guard down and then it hits me so hard it takes my breath away.  In October of 1999 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  In October, the pain of that day comes running back.  The pain of the months that followed that day flood into my mind.  It is as if every detail of those days is etched in my mind.  When those feelings hit, I begin to relive those days, whether I am in the car, in church, at my desk, and even when I try to lay my head on the pillow.  Those memories come crashing back.

As painful as those memories are, I also remember the beauty of that season in my life.  I remember the generosity and love that poured out to me.  I remember seeing God’s face in the doctors and nurses who tended to me.  I remember cherishing moments and days stronger than I have ever done so before.  Most of all, I felt God’s hope!  Each day my reliance on God became stronger because I could not rely on myself at that time.  In doing so, I felt closer to God than every before.  I learned what it was to let God have the driver’s seat. 

Pain in our lives can drain every bit of energy we have.  Even the most positive folks can refocus their attention to the despair pain brings into our lives.  Whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual pain, it can release havoc in our lives.  Yet, as God shares in Romans 5, this is when we need to rejoice the loudest.  It is during these times we need to share thanksgiving.  Trials in our lives provides opportunities for us to release to God our pain.  Problems in our lives provides opportunities to let God do his good work.  Romans 5: 1-5 became my mantra when I was ill, and it is my ‘go to’ in the Bible when life throws me lemons.  It is a wonderful reminder of God’s love for us and how the trial in our lives leads to hope in God.    

Sharing verses 3-5.  “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the holy spirit, who has been given to us.”  Let these words sink in when troubles come your way and let God’s love shine amidst adversity.

“Dearest Jesus, thank you for being our guiding light during troubled times.  May we turn to you, and release to you, all that weighs heavy on our shoulders.  May your love engulf us and show us the great hope in you.  Amen”