Fear in the Waiting

 

Immediate Fear!  There are many times in our lives when fear is thrusted upon us by the circumstances we find ourselves in.  We are walking in the woods and a bear is upon us.  We are driving in the winter and a snow squall is upon us.  In these situations, the danger comes upon us quickly and we have an instant reaction of panic or fear.

Yet, what happens when the situation is NOT immediate.  Those times in our lives when the fear comes in the waiting of certain situations.  It may seem comical for some, but I have a deep fear of the dentist.  I have never had a terrible experience at a dentist.  I did not even have a cavity until I was twenty-six.  Going in for a cleaning throws me into a fearful state.  Any procedure bigger than that?  I will leave that up to your imagination.  What will they find, will it hurt?  The fear of the unknown takes its toll on my psyche.    Once done, I leave, and I am fine – until the next six months arrives.

I think back upon other times in my life when fear was not immediate but was deeply rooted when I needed to wait.

•         Fearful of the diagnosis while waiting for biopsy results.
•         Fearful of surgery results of a loved one.
•         Fearful of what chemotherapy will do to my body.
•         Fearful of not meeting expectations of others

The fear in waiting can be daunting.  It can overcome every part of our mind and body.  As my fear in waiting grows, so does my ‘what if’ scenarios that go with that.  It is hard to have that ‘glass half full’ mentality when the devil is reaching in and guiding you to the darker side. 

In walks the One who conquers fear.  In walks the One whose power over death can bring power to us.  In walks our Lord!  When we focus not on fear but faith, the power of our Lord replaces the darkness of the fear.  Faith does not mean that what we are fearing goes away, it means that we have One who will walk with us during the waiting.  Jesus will be there when we get the results, He will be there during chemo treatments, He will be there while working towards a better marriage or job.  Our Heavenly Father is with us during the waiting and brings us through to the other side. 

The result of our fears may not always be what we want to hear.  In my case, the diagnosis was cancer, the chemo made me extremely ill, and the result was divorce.  What I found was that when I put my faith with the Lord, the fear subsided, and God’s peace engulfed me.  That faith may have been through a certain Bible verse I would say repeatedly, a devotional I read every day, or as simple as prayer.  When I gained faith in the waiting, the fear receded.  And the love of Jesus filled me.  Instead of being afraid in the waiting, I pray that all of you will find faith in the waiting.  Find faith, find love, find peace!

Dearest Jesus, may I turn to you when I wait.  Help me to take the fear that I have and move it to your faithful guiding hands.  Pour your love around me and help me to see that whatever fears I have in front of me, Your presence and love abounds.  Amen!