It happened once again - the day after Christmas. I woke up early and planned the day ahead of me: a cup of coffee, bring up the Christmas boxes, start taking down the decorations, do the laundry, clean, etc. Yes, that was what the day was going to bring. As I proceeded through my list of activities, the disappointment seemed to become larger and larger. Disappointment over what?
Christmas. It doesn't happen every year, but this year it seemed to crawl back into my heart. Disappointment in all the preparations not yielding the exact results I had planned. Disappointment in all of it passing so very quickly. Disappointment in the lack of "wow" that I had anticipated. Disappointment that weeks and months of planning resulted in less than 24 hours of joy. What happened and why do I feel this way?
I sat down on the living room couch, by myself, to reflect. What I realized was that when my life focuses more on the preparations themselves versus the "why" of the preparation, my heart isn't full. Other years it was different. When my preparations focused more on Jesus, my heart was full. This year was a year of change. Significant others joining our Christmas morning. Children not present due to military commitments. Just different. I seemed to focus more on the differences than on the joy of the season.
The more I reflected, the more I asked for forgiveness. It was time to share with Jesus that my priorities had shifted, and that wasn't what I wanted. I thought about how much God puts into preparing me - preparing me for trials, preparing me for evangelism, preparing me for His walk. What happens when I disappoint Him? Does He go into a "funk" and focuses on the disappointments that I bring to Him? If I read our verse for today, it is just the opposite!!
Jesus won't rebuke me, but loves me. He not only loves me but REJOICES over me. Me, with all my flaws. Me, with all the disappointments I bring. Jesus rejoices over me! As I let those words seep into my heart, the disappointment I was feeling moved to incredible joy. Joy over the true fact that Jesus loves me. Joy that He will never leave me. Joy that He forgives me and doesn't hold it against me. How wonderful are those words - He will rejoice over me!!
Disappointment happens in this world. When expectations aren't met, disappointment sets in. During those moments, spend a few minutes in reflection. Remember that are words and actions could be very disappointing for Jesus as well. Sit back, reflect, repent, and receive the joy that Jesus gives us. Meditate on the joy He brings into our lives through His love and salvation. That will move many disappointments to joy!
Dearest Jesus, Thank you for loving us and rejoicing over us, although there are many times when we may disappoint you. Forgive us when our hearts aren't fully focused on you and may our hearts be filled with the knowledge of a forever love and forever life in you. In your joyous name we pray. Amen!
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