"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Messiah, who has been appointed for you - even Jesus. Heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets."
Acts 3:19-21
"I have something to tell you!" I remember those words distinctly. My husband and I were sitting on our back patio on a warm spring afternoon. I had thought about sharing something with him all morning and the Holy Spirit was nudging me - now, share now. No, it wasn't something like, "I would really appreciate it if you could close the kitchen cabinet when you get a glass". It was time to share with him something that was locked away inside of me - something that was locked away long before I met him.
I know that all sins are equal. I know that one sin, no matter how small, is still a sin in God's eyes. Yet, for me, I was carrying around a sin that happened long ago. One that I thought about every day. One that kept reminding me why I needed God so much. The guilt, the heavy load, dragged my soul down. Sin can do that to us - drag us down so low that we wonder if we are worthy of God's love and salvation. On that spring day, I wondered if I shared that sin, would I still be worthy of my husband's love. Although the sin was long before "us", would he still love me with this "black mark". I took the leap, I shared. He listened. I cried. He told me he still loved me. My soul breathed.
To seek and acknowledge our sins can be difficult. To share our sins can be even more difficult. When we ask God for forgiveness, His forgiveness is immediate. He doesn't hold that sin over our heads saying, "Wait for it, wait for it - there - I forgive you." When we ask, He wipes that sin clean. It is us, in our imperfect human state, that holds onto sin. We harbor the guilt, the fear, the anguish of our sins. Jesus took all of that to the cross with Him. On that spring day, I found peace. Yes, there was peace when I shared my sin with my husband, but there was greater peace when I realized that God had forgiven me long ago. Then I talked to God. Goodness knows I had asked for his forgiveness time and time again. I knew He no longer looked at that sin as a "black mark" against me. For the first time, I felt that! I felt cleansed - I had experienced the refreshing times that can only come from Jesus.
As I reflect on that day, I realized that sharing our sins with our Heavenly Father, and leaving our sin with Him, on the cross, brings everlasting peace in our lives. As we walk through repentance, may we take the time to not only search and acknowledge all our sin, but let us talk with Jesus. Let us hold true to the simple faith that our sin, that weighs on our hearts, is no longer there. As Jesus hung on the cross, so did our sins. Alleluia!
Oh Jesus, how grateful I am that my faith in you provides me forgiveness for all my sins. As I bring my sin to you, and share with you all my "black marks", I know you are looking upon me and saying - "Your sin is no more". What peace that sharing brings! Help me, Jesus, to search my soul, acknowledge those sins, and share them with you. Only then can I feel the peace that sharing of my sins can bring. Thank you Jesus."
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